I had to make a decision based on the information I had available. Unforunately it was the wrong decision. I took a gamble and I lost.
The weather on Sunday was horrible. It poured down rain; the wind would knock you off your feet; and the temperature was mighty cold. When I woke up Sunday morning the weather was exactly the same and when I watched the weather channel and the local news it was looking like the poor weather was going to continue all day for the marathon. I made my decision and stuck with it.
At 10:30am, my start time, the weather was clearing up. The rain was slowing down and the wind was not as gusty. By that time, however, it was too late. Dave and I went out and watched the end of the race for several hours and I felt horrible about the decision I had made. I have previously run two half marathons in the pouring rain. One was in the summer and although it was warm, it was still miserable. The other was in April but the rain was combined with snow and it was frigidly cold. My hands and toes were numb and red at the end of that race. To me, the weather was not worth the gamble. I did not want to risk hypothermia or getting really sick just to finish a marathon--a marathon I've done before and a marathon I'll do again.To add insult to injury, several people that have times falling in my range totally kicked butt in Boston crushing my PR on a flat course. It's disheartening. I'm disappointed in myself. And although I think it's great what these people achieved, I'm not ready to hear about their races yet.
I think I need to re-evaluate for a while and find out really what I'm made of.
8 comments:
I'm sorry you didn't go..but we all have to go with our gut instincts sometimes..which you did! Like you said, you can do it again..and that's a great attitude and i'm sure YOU will do it again...:-D
I understand why you are disappointed with your decision, and I know how frustrated you must feel. But you can only beat yourself up for so long about this. Based on those two previous races, it's completely reasonable to question the risks of this race. Furthermore, as you pointed out, this is a race you've done before and you will do it again. I hope you can feel better about your decision soon! We're all still cheering you on!
I understand why you're frustrated with your decision not to run and why you're disappointed, but don't spend too much time beating yourself up over this. As you said, it's a race you've done before and you will do it again. We're all still cheering for you!
You made a decision. as you say, the best you could make at the time.
It won't change anything, but ask yourself:
1) would I feel better if I did run, and they still beat me?
2) am I angry at myself for not running, or them for beating me (when I wasn't even competing)
?
There will be other races. Races you're excited about, races you've been able to train for. And you WILL kick butt!
Hey Meredith, I can relate to your disappointment - I've been in similar situations. Hindsight is always 20/20...
As for the shorts, it's funny you say that about the bike shorts - I feel the same way about the running shorts! They are so SHORT! :)
One mere year from today (after the 2008 edition of the Boston Marathon), this will be ancient history to you, and you'll hardly ever think about this again.
I do that to myself all the time--make a decision, then second-guess or beat myself up over it afterwards. Like everyone else has said, you did what you thought best with the information you had at the time, and there is always next year, so no sense in making yourself miserable about it! Easier said than done, I know, so I hope you're feeling better soon!
I heard it still wasn't very fun out there. Since you've done it before your decision was totally understandable.
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