Saturday, October 19, 2013

Priorities, Perspective, and Good Decisions

Dave did a half ironman back in September.  This race was brutal for him as he wasn't expected the hilliness of the bike course and then it was super hot for the run.  It was an equally unpleasant day for me as spectating this race was pretty boring plus I had to entertain the baby all day in the heat.  And he was too young for sunscreen so I was finding creative ways to keep him out of the sun.

At the end of the race, just at the other end of the finisher's chute, Dave picked up Anderson and held him.  One of the volunteers said, "and just like that, you're back to being dad."

I loved it.

Obviously, my whole world has changed since I had a baby.  And I truly love it.  My world seems more complete, more meaningful, more everything.  Waiting to have a baby until I we (were) was ready was one of the best decisions. 

I love coming home every day from work and seeing his smile.  I love watching him peacefully sleep.  I enjoy feeding him new foods and watching him discover the world.  But mostly I love how he has made everything else in my life less of a big deal.

Running has been meh since I had the baby.  Not good, not bad, just meh.  I've had some surprisingly good results, but I've been fighting injuries and haven't been able to run the way that I use to.  But every run I come home and it's baby time.  No time to dwell on the bad run; no time to bask in the great race.  It's time to be mom.

Jamie and I had a small Twitter conversation about mental health the other day.  I told him I am not ashamed that I needed help for my mental health issues.  I have suffered long enough and started medication in March and it was the best decision I could have made for myself, my baby, my family, my marriage.  I am so much happier now.  Things don't bother me the way that they use to.  I can cope with the stresses of life and having a 6 month old is certainly stressful.

My world has changed and it is so much better. 


Caroline said...

Meredith, I loved this post and I'm so happy for you. Your blog was one of the first blogs I discovered when I got into running/triathlon and I've been reading for years and followed along with your ups and downs. You deserve all of the great things you have in your life. My husband and I haven't taken the plunge to have a baby because I've not been ready and always wondered if I would be ready and worried that, if I wasn't ready, it would be a disaster and we've gotten flack from some people on our decision to wait. It's really encouraging to see how rich your son has made your life and how happy you guys are with your decision to move forward when you both were ready.

Alili said...

Love this post - yay Meredith! I'm glad your days are filled with so much goodness.

Val said...

I agree with both the posted comments. I'm so excited for you with your discovered happiness. =) xoxoxoxoxoox