Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Motherhood is Hard

This weeks marks a year since we welcomed our little boy into our lives.  It has been a great year and I love love love the little boy Anderson has become.  But I'm not going to lie, motherhood is hard.

This has been the longest winter of my life, which I'm sure most of you can attest to.  It has been cold and snowy since November and even today we got another dusting of snow.  Good grief.  My days consistent of going to work until 8:30am and then spending the rest of the day stuck inside.  While it is warm inside, I am tearing my hair out with boredom.  What do you do with a baby while stuck inside all day??  I can only watch so many episodes of Sesame Street, Daniel Tiger, and Bubble Guppies.  We have played with every toy he owns and we do it every day.  And there is lots of snuggling.  While we have fun, I'm tired of the monotony.  I want to play outside.  I want to take Anderson to the park.  I want to take family walks.  And I want to take Anderson out in the bike trailer and running in the BOB.

Let's talk about running and motherhood.  It's difficult.  I start work at 6:00am, which means I do not have the luxury of running in the morning while everyone is still asleep.  If I want to run by myself I have to wait until after the husband gets home from work at 6:00pm.  By that point in the day I am exhausted.  I have gotten up early, I have worked, and I have endured the very physical job of motherhood.  Which leaves me the only option of the treadmill.  I love the treadmill, but you can only take so much.  Sometimes I wish I could quit my job and be a stay at home....

...And on the subject of working, ugh!  I work part-time: 2-1/2 hours in the office and an hour and a half at home.  I actually really like going into the office and having some adult interaction, but as I said earlier, I start at 6:00am.  That's just WAY earlier.  No matter what time I go to bed, 5:00am is just painful.  I cannot get used to it and I don't like it.  Working from home is so crazy hard too.  It wasn't so bad when Anderson was a BABY and could sit in the swing and be content.  Now he's mobile and needs entertained.  I usually have to work in little segments while Anderson watches Bubble Guppies or runs around in his walker or hangs out in his bouncy seat.  Almost every week I have to work on the weekend to make up time and frankly, I don't remember the last time I actually got in all my hours.  I am an hourly worker; no work, no pay.  The husband works full time for the same company as me (hence why I work early early hours - so we don't have to put the baby in daycare) and also consults for another company a few hours a week.  He makes good money.  Why do I have to work?  Sometimes I find myself mad or jealous of Dave because he gets to go to work all day.  Does this make me a bad mom?

Don't get me wrong, I love my little bug and I love being a mom.  I waited a LONG time to have a baby and knew what I was getting myself into.  Some days are bad and rough, but most days are absolutely awesome.

Mothers out there, how do you manage motherhood? 
Do you work outside the home? 
Does it get easier as the child gets older? (hahahahaha!)
Whatever possessed you to have more than one child?  (hahahahaha!)

1 comment:

Val said...

Welcome to the total ball of yarn that is motherhood. I stay home with our third, who is probably headed off to preschool this fall (provided I get my act together and sign him up somewhere) and then will be wondering what in the world to do with myself. I've been out of the work force for so long that my teaching certificates have all expired and I'm not even sure where they are after all these moves. I alternate between being glad I can stay home while they were little and losing my mind. I know we've saved a ton on day care by having me home, but sometimes I feel so cheated out of adult interaction. I don't even want to do what I went to college FOR, so I'm having a rough time planning ahead to when this little guy will be in school all day. Am I going to have to go back to school? Can I just do part time things? What happens when the kids are home sick? I can see why rich people spring for nannies. They could parent as little or as much as they want to while being fulfilled with a career. =P