Tag, You're It

My former teammate and awesome friend, Jamie, tagged me.

Here is how we play the game.

1. Post these rules
2. You must post 11 random things about yourself
3. Answer the questions set for you in their post (I guess I’ve gotta do this twice for both Carole and Laura’s questions…)
4. Create 11 new questions for the people you tag to answer
5. Go to their blog and tell them you’ve tagged them
6. No stuff in the tagging section about you are tagged if you are reading this. You legitimately have to tag 11 people!

11 Random Things About Myself:

1. I listen to country music all day long. My favorites include Brad Paisley, Sugarland, Taylor Swift, Kenny Chesney, and Keith Urban.

2. I hate almost all things about being short and small including my feet never hitting the floor while sitting in a chair and that I struggle to find a pair of pants that don't need tailored.

3. But, there are some advantages like being able to buy kids clothing.

4. At nearly 34 years old, I am the second oldest person in my department at work. The average age is probably closer to 24 or 25. The whole company is run by a bunch of 20-somethings.

5. And because they're so young and we're all outfitted in the apparel we pimp and because the lighting is so horrible in the bathroom at work, I go home most days feeling like I look like shit!

6. I work customer service emails in my job and let me tell you, people are LIARS!!

7. After mulling over all my choices, I was prescribed an anti-depressant to deal with my depression and anxiety. And of course, my OBGYN said absolutely not. So here I sit with a prescription I haven't and (it seems) cannot take. Awesome. But I have been taking some vitamin supplements the last couple of weeks and have been feeling a little better.

8. My grandmother might be the only person I have ever trusted.

9. When I cut all my hair off in July, I cried. I then went through a phase where I hated it and wanted to grow it back out. But now, I absolutely love it. Not only is it super-easy, I still think it's feminine and works well with my tiny head and big personality.

10. Although, I still miss my pony tail swishing when I run.

11. I don't like to eat cereal for breakfast. The milk is too cold that early in the morning. It hurts my teeth. I'd much rather eat cereal for a snack in the afternoon.

11 Questions Jamie Asked:

1. What is your proudest accomplishment?

Making it through and graduating from The Ohio State University with my degree in engineering. Qualifying and running Boston ranks right up there too.

2. What is your biggest regret?

Not finishing ironman.

3. What was your biggest fear as a child?

I am scared to death of bridges.

4. What is your biggest fear as an adult?

I'm still scared to death of bridges, but add roller coasters to that mix too.

5. Your most embarrassing triathlon story, using exactly 11 words.

I tend to finish DFL in the bike portion. It sucks.

6. What is the one piece of advice you’d give the 10 year old version of yourself.

Calm the f@ck down. Heck, I'm still trying to give myself that advice.

7. What is the best meal that you’ve ever made yourself?

Dave and I make a really mean pork tenderloin with potatoes and acorn squash.

8. In or out?

Belly button? It's just there - neither goes in or out.

9. What is your dream car?

I really love the Range Rover, but (a) I'll never be able to afford that, (b) it's not a hybrid, and (c) even if it was a hybrid it still wouldn't get great gas mileage.

10. What is the fastest you’ve ever gone on a bike?

I saw over 30mph going down a hill at both IM Louisville and Rev3 Knoxville. Luckily (I guess) because I don't weigh very much, I don't get the speed down the hills that most people get. Going that fast scares me.

11. What is your least favorite part of triathlon training/racing?

Biking. Gosh, I really wish you didn't have to bike in triathlon. :)

11 Question Asked By Me:

1. What is your favorite children's book?

2. Pepsi or Coke?

3. What is your favorite board or card game to play?

4. What is one thing you're really looking forward to in 2012?

5. If you stumbled upon a magic genie lamp, and she asked you for your three wishes, what would you wish for? (And don't give me that world peace bull!)

6. If you could have any job in the world, what would you choose to do?

7. If you had a bazillion dollars, what would be the first thing you'd spend with that money?

8. If you could be awesome at one thing and one thing only, what would that be?

9. What is your favorite color and why?

10. If you could be reincarnated into anything, what or who would you want to be?

11. What's for dinner tonight?

Okay, I know I'm a little behind the times in getting this done. It feels like everyone and their brother have already been tagged by this game. So, if you haven't and want to participate, please do so. Also please let me know in the comments if you answered my questions on your own blog. Or if you don't want to play on your own blog and want to answer my questions (because they're awesome), please answer in the comments below. Should be fun!

On Second Thought

I said last week that I would stop the run streaking if I developed serious pain. I'm struggling with this one. See, two weeks ago I did a hill run on the treadmill and then went directly to yoga from there. Since then I've developed quite a bit of achilles pain in my left foot. It's been bothering me, but not enough to stop a run or not to run. I put ice on it after each run and things seem to be okay. Not great, but okay.

Yesterday after my long run, everything was feeling not so great. So I hopped in an ice bath after the run. As the day went on my hips started to bother me and my achilles was really bothering me. Throughout the day I continued to ice my achilles.

When I woke up this morning it was like a board had been attached to my left foot and it kept slapping the floor. The mobility in my left ankle is very little, my achilles is swollen and hard as a rock. I am going to continue to ice it throughout the day, but may have to make the decision to not run today and stop the streak. I am registered for a race this weekend and a silly run streak goal I sent for myself is not worth jeopardizing a race (not that I'm in it to win it).

What do you think?

Week In Review

This week started my February Run Streak. I actually started on Tuesday so I'm officially six days into the run streak. I know I made the rules to run at least three miles on the easy day, but I didn't take into account that I was going to have a chemical peel this week and that I would not be able to get my body temperature up or sweat. So I had to have super-easy days on Friday and Saturday.

Here's how the week went...

Monday - Day 3/Week 3 Pushup Challenge - 72 pushups
I'm starting to struggle with the pushups. I can do about 30 in a row and that's where I'm maxing out. The numbers are starting to get big with this challenge. I couldn't finish the workout today. I only made it 72 pushups.

Tuesday - 4.25 miles
I had a rough day today so when Dave and I started running together, I wanted nothing to do with him. It wasn't that I was mad at him, I just wanted to run HARD and not chitchat. So I separated from him and ran hard for most of the miles. Bad news for Dave, though, is that I was carrying the key and his run was shorter than mine and it was raining. Sorry Dave.

Wednesday - 3 miles & Day 1/Week 4 Pushup Challenge - 120 pushups
Easy 3 mile run through the neighborhood averaging an 8:52 pace.

Thursday - 3 mile easy run with Dave

Friday - 2 miles
This afternoon was the day I got my chemical peel. Last time I had a chemical peel, I didn't have any restrictions, but this one was in bold letters at the top of the page, NO EXERCISE. Screw that. I ran easy and stopped as soon as I got warm.

Saturday - 1 mile
Again today, I was not allowed to exercise so I did one easy mile on the treadmill because it was raining.

Sunday - 13.15 miles
When I started out today it was 33 degrees. I bundled up in tights, a long sleeved shirt, and a jacket. I took one mile outside and I was WAY overheated. So I headed home, changed into shorts and a lighter long sleeved shirt and headed back out. This was a great run that just flew by getting easier as I went. I negative split the run with my last mile being my fastest - 8:15. Average - 8:53 pace.

Total miles for the week - 26.4
Pushups - 332

January Totals

January was kind of a rough month. I just didn't have the motivation. And didn't care. But I continued to run every once in a while, went to yoga to boost my spirits, and began my pushup challenge.

Swim - 0 meters

Bike - 0 miles

Run - 57.92 miles

Other - 3 hours (all yoga)

Pushups - 697

Let's Go Streaking!

For the 12 for 2012 Challenge I've created for myself, one of my goals is to run streak for one month. Now I didn't say 30 days or 31 days; I said one month. So February it is!

The goal - to run every day. I've made some rules for myself, though.

• Run at least one mile, although I'd like to run a minimum of 3 miles each day. (Why change clothes if you're only going to run a mile?)
• One hill run, one speed workout, one to two long runs.
• Do not run over 50 miles in a week.
• Stop if you are developing serious pain. It's just not worth getting injured over this.

I hope to keep a good journal and post it up here at the end of the month. Wish me luck!

The dumbest thing I've ever heard

*Soapbox out*

Last night Dave and I went to Giant Eagle (big-box grocery store) to pick up some salads for dinner. Blame Pinterest but I also had a hankering for a fruity alcoholic drink too. After spending about a half an hour trying to decide if we could actually mix and make our own beverage, we just decided to pick up a pre-mixed Cosmopolitan (don't judge). We then went to check out. The woman working the register asked us BOTH for our IDs. Well, I don't like to carry a purse and we weren't going out to dinner so I didn't have anything with me. I told her that and she said she couldn't sell it to us then. W.T.F.!!!!!! I told her that she and her store policy were ridiculous. Neither of us look remotely 21 or younger anymore. And then we told her screw her and that we'd be taking our business elsewhere.

Here's the thing...what if I were Dave's child and he was buying himself a drink. Would they not sell it to him. What if I was younger than 16 and didn't have an ID yet. Would they deny the sale then? What if I went out to the car and let him finish the transaction. Is it okay then? This is the dumbest store policy I've ever heard. You'd better believe I'll be sending a letter.

Houston Half Marathon 2012

Despite trying to calm my nerves by not participating in most things in Houston, I was still a wreck when I woke up Sunday morning. Why? I could run a half marathon in my sleep? I knew it wasn't going to be fast. But who cares? Well, I guess I do. I decided to help with the not-caring to NOT wear a watch in the race. I don't know if I've ever done that. I just wanted to run comfortably, enjoy the day, and learn to have fun in racing. 2012 for me is all about enjoying the experience and relaxing. Do races to do races.

Dave was just as nervous for his marathon so neither of us were able to get very much breakfast down. He had a bowl of cereal. I had half a banana. Mom and Dad met us in the lobby and we walked to the starting corrals.

Houston's starting corrals were neat. There were different half marathon and marathon corrals and then those were split based on pace. So, I had to say goodbye to Dave early and then I was all alone. Except I made friends who helped me feel more secure - two old dudes and a pregnant chick. If they're doing it. I can do it. I lined up with the 9:00/miles and before we knew it the starting gun sounded.

Because I wasn't wearing a watch, I have no idea how long it took me to get to the starting line. When I hit mile one it was 12:XX so I figured it must have been about three minutes off of my starting time. Each mile was comfortable. I didn't care that people were rushing by or that it seemed I wasn't getting any faster. Some good things Houston did....the half marathon and full marathon were separated for a couple miles until things thinned out; the miles were well marked; the water stops were well organized and easy to maneuver; etc. Before I knew it I was at mile 8 and the race was coming to a close. The marathoners broke off and I was on my way back towards downtown. Surprisingly I hadn't walked at all and I was still feeling really good. Two years of ironman training will give you SERIOUS base training even if I'm not as fast as I used to be.

Finally I was in the last mile. I saw my parents and yelled, "I think I'm going to be under two hours (I hope to shout!)" and the girl beside me said, "We'd better hurry then." I rounded the last corner, saw my friend Cat, waved, and crossed the finish line. The race clock was 1:59:59. Ha! My chip time was 1:56:26. That is 18 minutes slower than my PR but who cares. Another half marathon, another state, another race for 2012.

(That's me in the red hat.)

Now here's one thing I did not like about the race. After the finish line they give you your medal, take your picture (mine was uber-cute) and then herd you into the convention center for everything else. Coming from winter Ohio, the weather was already a bit warm for my liking, but for southerners I'm sure they thought it was chilly (evidenced by the fact I was wearing shorts and a t-shirt and others were wearing tights and long sleeves). So when they got you into the convention center it was like 90 degrees in there (not really, but still quite warm). Being that my stomach was upset all weekend, I went from feeling alright to feeling very badly very quickly. Instead of soaking it all in and getting food, beverage, etc. I just wanted to get the heck out of there. I did grab my finisher's shirt (cool) and got out of there. I wish I had taken the time to enjoy the ice cream. :)

I went back to the hotel, took a shower, and came back out to watch Dave finish his marathon.

Overall, this was a great race. The organization was top notch, the course was flat and fun, and the finisher's swag was awesome. The marathoners got a shirt and a mug which I thought was super-cool. Would I do this race again? Maybe. It is in the middle of winter which poses a problem for training plus it's a big swing in weather when you do go down to do the race. And there's lots of other races and states to still race in. But, I would recommend it to others.

Houston (or the parts I actually left the hotel room for)

First, thank you all for the nice comments in the last post. It means a lot that people care and are willing to be there, even if it's just virtually. I'm working really hard to get and stay well. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Now back to your regularly scheduled program.

As I mentioned in my last post, I was really anxious about our trip to Boston, which caused me to be quite sick before and during our trip. My parents and Dave were especially supportive on this trip and didn't force me to do anything I wasn't comfortable with. So, even though we were there as part of a larger group I skipped out on almost all of our group festivities. This was the only way I could stay calm enough to make it through the weekend. But, I did venture out of the hotel room for a few things.

Friday we got to Houston in the morning and after checking into our hotel and getting some lunch, we headed to the race expo to pick up our stuff. Dave and I are not huge fans of crowds and expos, so we got in, got our stuff, did our thing and got the heck out of there. In contrast my parents spent FOREVER in the expo looking, checking out, and grabbing everything.

Because of the Olympic trials going on, the US Olympic Committee had set up a little village outside of the expo where you could try out different sports. Dave and I got our "credentials" and tried out weightlifting, boxing, table tennis (which kicked our buns), biking, and wheelchair basketball (the hardest thing EVER). Check out our awesome pictures from the Olympic Village.











Saturday morning we watched the Olympic Trials, obviously. We were stationed at the 2,10,18, and 26 mile marks. Our friend and many time relay teammate, Mandy, is supa-fast! and earned her spot to run in the trials. We cheered very loudly for her.



And I love me some Meb. I'm so happy for him.



After the trials we headed back to the Olympic Village where I was super excited to get my picture taken with the one and only Doc Patton.



The rest of the day was spent resting and preparing for the race on Sunday...

Coming Clean

Having a blog is a lot like going on a first date. I'm not exactly sure who's reading it so I always put my best foot forward, wear my nicest outfit, and present myself well. Now that I've been in therapy for the last few months I'm realizing I do this in real life too. I'm not living transparently and letting people in to the real Meredith.

I think it's time to come clean.

I mentioned last year my battle with depression. It's been an ongoing thing for the last 16+ years. It comes and goes. Mostly I've been able to fight it on my own, knowing that it will pass.

This time it's different. This time I feel like I have absolutely no control over my depression and no idea why I am so depressed. I hate the word suicidal, because I'm not going to kill or harm myself, but I guess that's where I am. For the last few weeks I have been hoping every night when I go to bed that I won't wake up in the morning. It seems like the only way out. I just want all of this to go away. I don't want to be me anymore.

On top of all that, I've developed horrible anxiety. Involuntarily I can go from feeling okay to having this overwhelming feeling and horrible nausea. It's ridiculous. It's exhausting.

It's affecting everything. My running has gone to shit. It's not that I don't have the speed or the stamina. I just can't believe in myself and my abilities. It's affecting my abilities to be human, to interact. This weekend we went down to Houston for the trials and to run the open half/full marathon. I was sick from the night before we left until we got back yesterday. More on Houston to come in the following days.

I just felt like it was time to stand on my rock and let others in on my struggle. I cannot pretend anymore.

Week In Review

With all the craziness of the bridal show, I didn't get a whole lot done this week. But here's a small list of what I did.

Monday: To begin the pursuit of 100 pushups for the 12 for 2012 goals, I researched the One Hundred Pushups training program. Initially you are supposed to do a test to see how many pushups you could do without failing or stopping. Today was my test and I did 21. Technically, that means I should start in week three of the training program, but because I was right on the cusp, I decided to start at week one.

Tuesday: Today I went to the gym and ran three easy miles on the treadmill and followed it up with an hour of yoga. This was hard. I was tired and unbalanced and generally did not want to be there. It took me a long time to calm the eff down (CTFD) and just relax into the poses.

Wednesday: Too sore from yoga to do anything (or at least that's my story and I'm sticking to it).

Thursday: Today I actually started the pushup training program. In total I did 51 pushups today.

Friday: I took the day off of work today and got out for a longer run. My stomach has been feeling much better (after I STOPPED taking the Nexium) and with the cold finally gone, this was a great run. I was so surprised to look down at my watch and see consistent sub-8:30 miles as everything felt really easy. In total I got in 9.25 miles at an 8:43 pace.

Saturday/Sunday: Working a bridal show is a lot like running a marathon. Saturday night I went to bed at 9:00pm. No lie! It's exhausting and I was worn out. Dave got up early and ran before we boothed on Sunday, but I just didn't have the energy. Let's just call this the taper. :)

Miles run - 12.25
Yoga - 1 hour
Pushups - 71

How I Am Spending My Weekend

This weekend is the Columbus Bride Show, the biggest bridal show in Central Ohio. We only work one bridal show each year (thank goodness) and this is it. It is expensive, it's exhausting, but it's totally worth it. This year we didn't change much from last year so instead of going to bed at 2:00am every day the week before the show trying to get things done, we were able to rest and have things prepared well in advance. Yay! Here's what our booth looked like:



Based on events I've already booked for 2012, it's looking like a great year. Let's hope the bridal show goes well...

Foto Friday

This is January?

Thursday Thoughts

This weekend is the biggest weekend of the year for my business: the Columbus Bride Show. We probably book nearly half of our year's business on this one bridal show alone. And this year we are going in with the highest number of dates booked already for the year which makes me even more excited. 2012 is shaping up to be a great year for weddings!

I attend over 40 weddings a year and each one is special. After seeing all these weddings I often wonder what I would differently knowing what I do now about weddings and the wedding industry.

So my question is, what would you do differently if you were to get married again (or if you're not married what would your wedding look like)? What would you add that would make your wedding unique? What you not change anything?

Books Read in 2011

I like to read. I'm not a voracious reader, but I like to read. Each year I set a standard to read 12 books (one per month-as the library allows you to check them out for only 4 weeks). With training for ironman again in 2011, I came up a little short of 12 books, but still did much better than last year, finishing the year with 11 books read. And they were...

1. Marathon Woman by Kathrine Switzer. I knew Kathrine Switzer was important but I had no idea HOW important she was for women's distance running. This book was inspiring.

2. 50/50 by Dean Karnazes. And on the other end of the spectrum is Dean Karnazes. I don't know what it is about him, but he bothers me. Gets under my skin. I think he's arrogant and I found this book to be arrogant.

3. The Lost Symbol by Dan Browne. I love me some Robert Langdon adventures. I wish there was another one to read.

4. Beautiful Boy by David Scheff. I had been eying this book for a long time and I'm so glad I read it. I found it to be insightful and wondered how my parents and Dave have felt dealing with my depression, mood swings, and self violence.

5. Something Borrowed by Rachel Giffin. I want this four weeks of my life back.

6. Tweak by Nic Scheff. This is the son's account of his drug addiction from "Beautiful Boy". I'm not sure how I felt about this one. Some parts I identified with but there were certainly other times where it felt hard to root for him.

7. The Long Run by Matt Long. Wow! WOW!!!

8. The Help by Kathryn Stockett. This was easily my favorite book I read in 2011. My sister, who is not the reader of the family, devoured the book in just a few days so I knew I had to read it. And I FLOVED it! I then saw the movie and loved it too even though it left a lot of the details out. I was so glad I read the book in conjunction with seeing the movie as I feel like I got the rest of the story. Loved it!!!

9. Bossy Pants by Tina Fey. Ms. Fey, you are so funny.

10. You Are an Ironman by Jacques Steinberg. I read this between my failed attempt at Cedar Point and my non-attempt at Beach2Battleship. I don't know. I think I was just over ironman at this point.

11. You Had Me at Woof by Julie Klam. My dog Sloopy has been the best thing that has happened to me in a long time and seeing the cover of this book with it's cute little doggy made me want to read it. Unfortunately, the book was not as good as it's cover art. It was just okay. I expected a lot better.

I've already started my reading adventures for 2012...

12 for 2012

I'm one of those people that loves the new year. It's a chance to start over, to set new goals, to restart. Unfortunately, the last few months have been really rough on me and I can easily say that I'm at the lowest point that I've ever been. I'm really struggling and although I'm in therapy and working through it, no day is easy. As the calendar changed this weekend, nothing really changed for me. I'm facing a year of uncertainty with nothing really to look forward to. That being said, I wanted to establish 12 goals for myself that, although they're not the goals that I've gone after in the past, they're unique and something to focus on.

Here's what I came up with (in no particular order):

1. Three hanging pull ups
2. 100 pushups (girl style)
3. Stay on the balance board on a smooth surface for more than 5 minutes
4. At least 3 squats at 135 pounds (Dave said this goal is soft)
5. Be able to bench press 100 pounds at least once
6. Be able to touch my nose to my legs in a pike position
7. 3 hanging V-ups
8. Run streak for one month
9. Do 12 races
10. Do at least one item on the Life List or contribute to items on the Life List
11. Read 12 books
12. Set a PR

December and 2011 Totals

I decided I don't really want to do an end-of-year wrap up. Sure there was major disappointment in 2011 but I don't want to dwell in it. Despite not finishing ironman again, I had successes this year including a new PR in the half ironman distance and winning my first triathlon. 2012 is a new chapter and it will be different and most importantly, FUN. I have done the hard-core racing thing. I have won races, set PRs and ran my dream races. 2012 I'm going to let my legs guide me through adventures at whatever speed they want to travel. I'm excited to be entering a new era without a map to follow.

December totals:

Run - 60.6 miles
Other - 1 hour (yoga)

2011 totals:

Swim - 193,625 meters

Bike - 2921.68 miles

Run - 935.25 miles

Other - 14.5 hours

River Run 5K

Let me preface this race report by saying the 5K is not really my race. I tend to get faster the longer the distance. There's not a huge difference in my paces between the 5K and the marathon. On top of all that, I have been sicksicksick this week with a terrible cold and as late as yesterday I was not sure I was even going to do this race. Nonetheless, I woke up feeling well enough to give it a try and knew it would be far from my best performance.

No, I'm too sick to run!!

And it was.

Perking up

This was a small race, about 400 people, so I started just a few rows back. I took off at a pace I thought would be okay and hit the one mile mark at 7:45. Yeesh!!! Where has my speed gone??? But I was hacking and coughing and snorting with each step. I was okay with how slow the pace was going. I hit the two mike mark at 8:07. Oh my stars!!! I am so far out of race shape it's not even funny. Finally I was in the last mile and I was just getting by. I finished the race in 25:02 (watch time) which is about 4 minutes slower than my PR.





Here's the cool parts of the race.

Because it was so small, I walked away with third in my age group, which I think nets me a gift certificate to the local running store. I'll be checking into that tomorrow. And they also had a contest with the race director of the Columbus Marathon, Darris Blackford, where he started as the very lasts person and whomever he passed would be entered into a drawing after the race for one of 20 free race entries. He passed all but 15 people and blew by me in the first mile. I haven't heard anything but fingers are crossed.

My Letter to Columbus Racing Companies

Dear Columbus Race Companies,

This weekend I have signed up to run Run CBus's River Run 5K. Originally I had wanted to run the First on the First 5K, but the price was $35 ($40 by the time I decided to sign up), which goes against my rules of paying more than $10 per mile. The River Run was $25 which is still outrageous but at least doable. Both these races had good swag. The River Run has a long sleeve tech shirt, which they did not have available when I picked up my packet, a finisher's mug, chip timing, and refreshments at the finish. The First on the First run had a long sleeve tech shirt, chip timing, medals for all finishers, and a meal at the finish.

Here's my complaint...I don't need all that swag. And I think a lot of "regular" runners would agree with me. I would love to go back to having cotton shirts or an option for no shirts at all. I can't even close my drawers because of all the shirts and most of them don't fit anyway. And, why do I need chip timing for a 5K? If I want to bust out a PR, shouldn't I line up closer to the front? A mug or a medal for all finishers? It's a 5K not a marathon.

I want the race companies to go back to the basics. I want my 5Ks to cost no more than $15. And really, I only want to pay $10. I hope you will take my suggestions into consideration.

Sincerely,

Meredith

My Midlife Crisis

My therapist says I need to be more real and authentic, especially in my public life. So here it is...

I'm going through a midlife crisis.

There's a lot to plays into this but this post is going to focus on the external: I am super self-conscious and generally loathe my appearance. Recently I went back to work. And once again I'm working in retail at a highly stylish company filled with young, attractive people. Although I am really enjoying my work and love the people I'm working with, being in my mid-30s there makes me feel like a dinosaur and I think I'm trying to overcompensate.

I mentioned on a Facebook post a few days ago that I was interested in going blonde and piercing my nose. My aunt said I was going through a midlife crisis. Another really good friend of mine said I needed to stop working with the youngin's. What I really need to do is be comfortable with myself. Instead I did this:



Yep, I went blonde. This picture doesn't do it justice. It's shockingly blonde and not natural looking whatsoever. I kinda hate it. People are gonna stare and it's made me feel even more self conscious.

But I now have a plan for my 2012 resolution...

**Update**
The next day my hair was still hideous and I was still hating the color. I immediately called the salon, made an appointment for a re-do, and got my hair colored back to it's "natural" color. Of course, it's not all that natural looking now. It's a little bit warmer than my natural color with a touch of red to it, but it's WAY better than the "blonde".

Week in Review

After my sub-par week of running last week, I decided to get back on the running band wagon this week. And I kicked it off by officially changing my marathon status to half marathon for Houston. Relief!

Monday - 3 easy miles with Dave. He's getting over a cold and he just wanted to get through the run without feeling awful.

Tuesday - Yoga. Yes you read that right. I actually really liked this class. It wasn't really traditional yoga in the sense where your arms shake and you hold poses forever. It was more like an hour of stretching and I felt really relaxed afterward. Good thing, because I had to spend the rest of the evening with my entire family. :)

Wednesday - 5 miles with the 3 middle miles at a sub 8:30 pace.

Thursday - off

Friday - off

Saturday - Easy 5 miles with Dave. No watch, no heart rate monitor.

Sunday - 11 miles at an 8:45 pace.

The plan for Sunday was actually 15 miles working our way down to an 8:30 pace. The day started rough. I have a hard time on Sundays because I ALWAYS wake up with a headache (I can't oversleep or else it gives me headaches), so I just wasn't feeling well from the start. Then I had to wait over an hour for Dave to wake up. In addition, he didn't have his Garmin or iPod charged and plugged them in before we were to leave. I threw my Garmin at him, told him I'd figure out the distance, and just left. The first mile I did by myself, then I waited for him to catch up. Then he pushed the pace to wear I wasn't comfortable and it was all downhill from there. Here's the problem:

I have monsters in my belly.

Okay, maybe not monsters, but I have an ulcer. I don't think I've talked about this yet on the blog. Five years ago I started developing some pain in my lower chest. I was tested out the yin yang for everything. I had an asthma test, I had an EKG, I had a CT scan, and finally they concluded nothing. The pain persisted but was manageable. Last year as I was training for IM Louisville the pains came back and became a constant burn. I saw the doctor again and he said it was an ulcer. He prescribed me prescription-strength Prevacid which worked really well. As the training ramped up for my ironman this year, my stomach started to bother me again. I went back to using Prevacid and was also using Zantac around my meals and it wasn't doing anything. Between my botched Beach2Battleship non-attempt and up until about 2 weeks ago, I was in agony. I was sick every night. I didn't want to eat dinner because I knew I'd be sick. I went to the doctor again and this time I was prescribed Nexium and also was referred to a sports psychologist.

Where the heck is this story leading?

Because of the hole in my stomach, the foods I love to eat are now no-nos. But, I'm having a hard time giving them up. One of my favorites is my homemade spaghetti sauce. Not only is it spicy, but tomatoes are really bad for ulcers since they're acidic. Of course, we had spaghetti for dinner on Saturday night. Not only did I have a headache when I woke up Sunday morning, but my stomach was on fire. And I'm discovering that the quicker I run, the more my stomach bothers me. It's been so frustrating as my body is telling me I can run those 8 min/miles that I want to be running, but my stomach is only letting me run 9:00s. ARGH!

Hopefully with the therapy and the Nexium, I will get back to being the person I want/need to be. For now, I'm dealing.

2012 Schedule

I know I said I would not set a race schedule for 2012. And although this might look like a schedule, it's really not. I am currently, not working with a coach, I'm making no "A" races, and I'm just gonna go with the flow. I will not wrap my life around training and racing this year. So here's what I'm thinking about for 2012:

January :

1/1 - First on the First 5k

1/15 - Houston half marathon

February:

2/12 - Columbus Winter Run 15 miler

2/26 - Last Chance for Boston marathon relay (with Dave)

March: ?

April: ?

May:

5/5 - Capital City Half Marathon

5/28 - Dave and Meredith's running adventure

June:

6/2 - Greenswell Aquathlon (1 mile swim/5k run)

6/16-17 - Relay Around Columbus

July:

TBD - Lakeside to Kelly's Island Swim (2 mile and 4 mile swims)

7/14 - Greenswell Aquathlon (1 miles swim/5k run)

7/28 - Aquathlon National Championship

August: ?

September: ?

October:

10/21 - Des Moines half or full marathon

November: ?

December: ?

Miscellany for Thursday

Gosh, there's just not much to talk about in the winter months. So, here's a few somethings that have been on the brain.

• I switched to the half marathon in Houston. Yes I've been doing the long runs in the marathon training and I enjoy the distance training, but my heart wasn't in the marathon. Frankly, it's not much in the half marathon either but I think the half will suit me much better right now. I think I am going to continue to keep the super-longs run though just so I can have someone to run with.
  
• I am excited to see that Greenswell has added two aquathlons to the schedule next year. I'm in!
• I have only asked for $$$$ for Christmas this year. I started a new job in September that has required me to completely redo my entire wardrobe. I get a fat discount and I've been using it, but I'm still looking to get a few more outfits.
• I am looking for the perfect red lipstick. Here's what I'm looking for: prefer it to be long-wearing, cannot fade to pink, must be a blue-base (ladies, you know what I'm talking about), prefer it to be shiny or a gloss to a matte lipcolor. Any suggestions?
• I'm also looking for the perfect daytime lip color. Nothing in the pink family, but something with just enough color that it looks like you're wearing a little something. Suggestions?
• Feeling great about myself, huh? (sacrasm, see previous two bullet points)
• Are you digging the new look of Facebook Timeline? I think it looks a lot like MySpace, which I'm way too old for, but otherwise I think it's pretty rad.
• Dave and I are planning an epic weekend trip this spring. It's going to be amazeballs!

What else? What's on your mind? What am I missing?

Weekly Update

I only ran two days this week for a total of 9.6 miles. Dave was sick and I didn't have anyone to run with. Mostly, I just wasn't feeling it.

Right now I kind of feel like a speck of dust just floating in space. I'm unmotivated, I'm unhappy, and I'm lost. For 11 years I've out together my goals and set out a plan and now I've got nothing. I don't know what to do with myself. I so badly want to pick out some races and look toward 2012 but I can't and I shouldn't.

Like everyone else yesterday, I watched the NBC broadcast of the Ironman world championships. For the first time in a long time it did nothing for me. I didn't cry. I wasn't motivated. In fact, I was a little bit bored by it and if anything, angered by it. I'm so sick of watching it and everyone else around me and making it look so easy. I'm so effing sick of the ironman! And yet this morning I said in my head, "give it one more year. Give it another try".

I'm not going to. I'm not ready. If I tried again now it would be for all the wrong reasons and would probably end with the same results because I'd be doing it for all the wrong reasons. But I need a plan of some kind, even if it's small. Right now I'm just a speck of dust floating in space.

Year of Awesome #4 - Save a Horse, Ride a Bull?

This Year of Awesome moment (and yes, it's just a moment) happened on accident. We were working the photo booth for one of our favorite charities, A Kid Again, this past Saturday. Their holiday party broke down into age groups and we were stationed in the Teen Room. In the teen room were us, an obstacle course, Wiis and Xbox Kinnects, arts and crafts, and a mechanical bull.

Confession: As I've gotten older things have become more difficult, I've developed some fears, and things aren't as much fun as they used to be. For example, those who know me well, know that I'm scared to death of roller coasters. This hasn't always been the case. I used to love roller coasters, especially wooden ones. Now not only do they scare me, they hurt me and make me sick.

Like I said, there was a mechanical bull stationed right next to us at this Christmas party. Dave was really pushing me to do it, but I worried about falling or being sick or making a fool out of myself. But I promised myself that the Year of Awesome was all about getting out of my normal rut and trying new things.

So here it is, evidence I tried this. Needless to say, I will not be making an appearance at the rodeo any time soon.

And oh, how much I love Justin Beieber (sarcasm implied).

November Totals

Ahhhh, back to running and nothing else. And November was a great month because for some crazy, global warming reason, I was able to do most of my runs, especially my long runs, in shorts and t-shirts. Love! And I'm following a three-day-a-week plan which means my world no longer revolves around training. (Of course, I've gained three pounds this month so maybe I ought to pay a little more attention.) It also means there are no easy runs either. For the first week of November I did nothing. Not a thing. The second and most of the third week I was training for the half marathon. The rest of the month was spent training for the marathon, although I still haven't made a decision. What? I have until January 6th! :)

Running - 82.02 miles

Weight Lifting - 1.5 hours (one hour of weight lifting, one hour of core work)

I'm going to be close to hitting 1000 miles of running for 2011. We'll see what December brings...

Year of Awesome #3

So, the Year of Awesome is kind of a cop-out as it's something we do frequently, but only when it's not wedding season, which is only like 3 months a year. Last week we went to the movies and saw The Muppets. And we went to a matinee which means we were the only people at the movie without kids in tow.

Dave and I are big Muppet fans. We grew up on the Muppets. My days were spent with Sesame Street, The Muppets, and Fraggle Rock. I loved Jim Henson. I had a picture of him on my walls. I cried when he died. So when we found out there was a new Muppet movie coming out we squeeled with delight.

It didn't disappoint either. If you got kids or even if you don't, you have got to go see The Muppets. Awesome!

What should be our next "Year of Awesome" activity?

Houston Long Run #1

Since I can't make a decision between the full and half marathons in Houston, I've continued to train for the marathon merely for the face I want someone to run with and Dave's training for the full.

This weekend marked our first of three 20 milers. (I actually think there was a fourth but that was before I started training.) Our plan called for race pace plus thirty seconds which would have had us somewhere in the 8:48-8:55 range. But, Dave just wanted to get through it so I set my watch to pace us between a 9:00 and 9:15. I told him I was going to start slow and work my way into that pace. A scant two miles into the run I was already feeling bad and wanting to turn around. Dave did too, yet we knew that the weather was going to be bad later in the weekend so we really needed to continue with this run. Silently, we continued on. Eight miles into the run we were still pacing over a 9:30. I was comfortable and Dave was silent. When I trained with Andrea, we used to talk and talk and talk for an entire 20 mile run. I'm learning with Dave, he likes to do his own thing and not talk. Thank goodness I've become accustomed to wearing my iPod or else it would be a lonely run even with him there.

About nine miles into the run I went through my usual low point. Most people encounter these walls late in their runs or bikes. I always find them to be earlier, like 10 miles of a run or 40 miles of a bike. By mile 12, though, I was in the zone. Dave was continuing to be silent but I could tell he was suffering. Our pace hadn't moved much. We were now averaging under a 9:30. The per mile pace was picking up but we were not where we had hoped. With six miles to go we took a pit stop and I wasn't sure Dave was going to start again. He wasn't having fun. I made sure he was right with me. I was feeling fine and I knew I could pull him through this run.

Finally we made it back to our neighborhood with just under 3 miles to go. There would be running around through the neighborhood. Not something I particularly like to do, but I knew the 20 miles was within reach and I was willing to do it. I was picking up pace (Dave told me I was turning 8:20s) and I made sure Dave was right on my hip. If it's his goal to run this time, I'm gonna make sure he can achieve it. Suddenly he was cramping and we had to stop with just two miles to go. No, we are not going to stop! He stretched it out and we were off again. The longest and quietest two miles ever. I could hear him moaning and it was rough. Finally we hit the 20 mile mark in 3:06:xx for an overall pace of 9:19.

Sure we were short of our pace goal, but the first twenty miler is all about getting it done. We have two more to hit our pace goals and next time we're going to do it differently. Twenty miles at one pace is hard to digest. But twenty miles broken into 6-8 mile segments at increasing pace is easier to wrap my head around. Plus, it's the way I like to run. I still haven't made a decision about the race. A lot of it depends on my stomach (I've been battling an ulcer now for quite a while and the last four weeks I've been sicksicksick) and my shin which is bothering me. The journey continues...

Flying Feather 4 Miler 2011

Physically, I'm coming along just fine. I'm getting my speed back. I'm enjoying running. Mentally, ironman has effed me up badly. Honestly, I'm scared to race. Not even race, just participate in a race. I am so scared of what might happen that I don't even want to try. Even this silly four mile race I was scared to do. I woke up this morning feeling ill and tried to talk my way out of it. Didn't work.

Dave and I were lined up next to the 32:00 pace group. Yes, this race had pace groups. Good grief. I didn't think I wanted to run this fast but I knew if you didn't line up a little faster, you were going to have to work your way through the crowds. Dad was lined up behind us around the 36:00 pace group. We started out and I started conservatively. I am not a big fan of shorter races (anything shorter than 10 miles) because it doesn't give me enough time to work into my pace. I'm a 'start-slow-finish-fast' kind of runner. Quickly I was being passed left and right. And soon by the 34:00 pace group. Wow! Really? I'm sucking this badly. That's when my stomach dropped, I felt terrible, and just wanted to quit. I'm so tired of this. But looking ahead I saw the 32:00 and 34:00 pace group were right next to each other so something wasn't right. I didn't see the 1 mile mark and therefore, didn't look at my watch so I had no idea how fast or how slow I was going.

As timed moved on, however, I started to get more comfortable and the pace was picking up. I arrived at the two mile mark, checked my watch and I was at 16:40ish. I was still behind the 34:00 pace group so something wasn't right. Obviously, they were pacing too quickly. I continued to gain speed and by the three mile mark I was right with the 34:00 pace group and my watch said 24:40ish - still ahead of a 34:00. I was still feeling great, the breathing was controlled, so I decided to pick up speed again. I got ahead of the 34:00 group and was gaining on the 32:00 pace group although I never caught them. Finally it was over in 32:12. So again, the 32:00 group was pacing fast too.

You know, an 8:03 pace is not where I want to be, but having had the mental struggles and the lack of speed training, I've had, I'll take the 8:03. This race was a victory of me. I'm proud of myself for overcoming my fear and racing the way I like to race. I really do not like the shorter races, but maybe doing more of them will help with my confidence and speed. Onward and upward...

Yes I am wearing capris (or as I like to call them, knickers). Leave me alone!!! :)

Update: My official time was 32:11 and wouldn't you know my dad finished one spot behind me at 32:12. Sandbagger! (Him, not me.)

Weekly Update

You know, I obviously knew I had a good base going into running training, but I had no idea that things would come back as quickly as they would. While I was flying through a run this week I thought, maybe I'll just stick with the marathon instead of switching to the half. Let's back up...

Monday we celebrated my dad's 60th birthday so there was no working out.

Tuesday we had basketball tickets. Again, no working out.

Wednesday was track day. This week's workout was:
1 mile at 7:02
2 miles at 7:35 pace
2 X 800 at 3:23
warm-up/cool-down/rest intervals

Difficult to follow as (a) it was dark outside and (b) I was wearing gloves.

I hit the first mile spot-on: 7:00. The next two miles were 7:24, 7:26. Then I did the 800s. I did the first one in 3:26 and was NOT very happy I did not my interval. So I blasted the second one to a 3:19. Overall, the run was 7 miles.

Thursday we went to the gym and did "Core" class. This was one of the hardest classes I've ever attended. It was a half hour of abs and nothing else.

Friday I was too sore to do anything. I couldn't cough, couldn't laugh. My abs were killing me.

Saturday I ran with the training group. I did a quick 7 miles: 58:45, 8:24 pace.

After the run on Saturday I was feeling pretty confident with the way things were going so I thought, maybe I would give the full marathon a try. I know I said I wouldn't train for another race for at least a year, but following the "Run Less, Run Faster" program is a lot less of a commitment than Ironman training. Plus, Dave's training for the marathon and because he's gotten faster we can now run together. For the first time in three years I would have a training partner.

Sunday: the full marathon program called for 18 miles at an 8:48. Sure, I hadn't done anything of that length since August, but hey, why not? So we set out and within a few miles were right on pace. That fun was short lived as I was struggling around mile 8 and threw myself a little pity party. This pity party continued for the next two miles. But then I got into the groove and was feeling great. As the miles ticked off, Dave kept saying, we're running too fast, but he never asked me to slow down either. Finally we reached an intersection where I needed to decide if I was going to try to finish the 18 miles or split off from Dave, run to my parents' house, and do about 15 miles. I knew I could finish the 18 miles, but I also hadn't run that far in several months. I didn't want to risk injury this early in the training. I also knew that running 15 miles set me up for the marathon or the half marathon, whichever I decide to do at Houston. So, I turned from Dave and finished the 15 miles at an overall pace of 8:43. Woop!

Will I run the marathon? I don't know. I have until January 6th to decide (and pay a fee). Here's what I know:

• Can I run a PR marathon? No.
• Can I qualify for Boston? Probably not. Plus, I'm totally screwed by the age group as I will be 34 for two years. In 2012 Boston is on my 34th birthday and in 2013 it is before my birthday, hence I will be 34 for two years of the race.
• Can I run a good marathon and be happy with my performance? You know, I'm not sure I can answer that. Honestly, I always want to do my best. But will I be happy just doing the half marathon? I don't know the answer to that either. For now, I think I'm going to switch over to the marathon training program and see how it goes.

The Year of Awesome #2

Number two for the 'Year of Awesome' was attend a sporting event. I'm sure this will happen more than once as Dave and I are sports fanatics. Last night was a great event as we had tickets to the Ohio State-Florida men's basketball game. We have been attending the OSU women's games for years as my aunt and uncle have season tickets and they give them to us, but this was the first time in a quite a while that I attended a men's basketball game. OSU is currently ranked #3 and this was one of our big games of the year. And it didn't disappoint. Even though we had nose bleed seats, we still had a great view and it was a great game. Go Bucks!

The Year of Awesome

Having spent two years training for Ironman and 8 years before that training for marathons, I'm pretty burnt out. I promised myself and the husband that I would not "train" for the next year. I would not create a race schedule. I would do races for fun, run with people, and just relax. Now that I have a lot more time, Dave and I decided to call this our "Year of Awesome!" The plan: do something each week that gets us out of the house, is unique, could scare us, and generally is awesome.

We kicked off our Year of Awesome with our personal hero of awesome, Bert Kreisher. Who? One of our favorite shows is on the Travel Channel, Bert the Conquerer. In it, Bert travels around the country competing and completing unique tasks like jumping off a building in Vegas, bungee jumping at a mall in Canada, competing in the wife carrying contest, etc.


Two weeks ago I was walking through the mall and saw Bert's name was on the marquee for the local comedy club. I didn't even hesitate; I bought tickets on the spot. The show was raunchyraunchyraunchy but soooo funny. And now the year of awesome ball has started to roll...

We've started to create a list of things to do. Some things include:

1. Go to the comedy club. Check!
2. Go bowling.
3. See a play.
4. Go to a shooting range.
5. See a movie.
6. Go snowtubing.
Etc....

What would be on your list of awesome? What should we add to our list?

Week in Review

Last weekend, after one 2-mile run, watching the New York City Marathon and the Hood to Coast documentary (more on that this week), I was ready to get running again.

Monday Dave and I met up after work, went to the gym, and attended our favorite class "Simply Strength". The best way to describe this class is 'aerobic weight lifting'. It's one hour continuous, vigorous activity with small weights. I think this is a great class for endurance athletes because you're not going to build bulk, but you're going to gain muscle and get a good workout. Monday was the first time I have done any weight lifting since May or June. Right from the start, this class was kicking my butt. How could I be just one week out from being able to do an ironman to not being able to do 20 squats? What the what?!?! That's the sign of a great class.

Tuesday I woke up and could barely move, but the first track workout of my new training program was on the schedule. Much to my surprise I totally rocked it. You can read about it here.

I took Wednesday off. I needed it. Between the weight lifting and the track workout, I could barely get out of my chair and walk to the bathroom at work. :)

Thursday was supposed to be a tempo workout, but I decided to do my week's "long" run since my running friends would be at Highbanks Metro Park on Saturday to do 6ish miles and that would be my tempo. Hills = tempo, right? The week's long run was 8 miles at 8:27s. Dave also had 8 miles on the schedule so we headed out together right around dusk. I was suited up for the weather and, although we would be on the bike trail, I was still wearing my reflective vest and headlamp. Just three miles into the run I tripped on a pine cone, rolling that damn right ankle, and I went down again. Luckily this time, I pretty much fell on my side and only banged up my knee a little along with a few cuts and a bruise on my left thigh. I continued the run but I couldn't see a thing. It seemed so dark outside. I was struggling to maintain pace but I wanted to see what I was doing and not fall again. With less than three miles left, I saw Dave coming towards me. He had turned back around to run with me. What was amazing was Dave's headlamp was like three times as bright as mine. Next week, I'll be getting a new headlamp. Overall the run wasn't bad. I chose the first and last mile as warmup/cooldown and managed the rest of the miles between 8:11 and 8:41. Another successful run.

Friday we wound up getting together with friends and got to bed really late so Saturday I did not join my friends at the metropark. What that meant, though, was that I was going to have to do the tempo run. The run was 7 miles with 4 of them at 7:50s. I have spent two years running 9:00-10:00s and now I was going to have to pull off 7:50s. That's a big jump. And I freakin' nailed it again. Three for three this week! I hit the first set of two miles at 7:51 and the next two miles at 7:49. That 7 miles I pulled off at 59 minutes. Boom!!!!

I had a lot of doubts going into this week. I just didn't know if I was ready to jump back into pushing myself again. I wanted to continue my pity party. But, I loved this week. The runs this week were a huge victory for me. And here's the crazy part, it wasn't that hard. Sure, I was working, but it was amazing how easily I was breathing, how quickly I was recovering from the intervals, and how natural the pace seemed. It's got me excited again about running. Screw triathlon! I'm a runner!

Foto Friday

There is really only one place in Columbus to run long. Or at least, so it seems on a Saturday morning - HUNDREDS of runners! Last week, it actually looked really cool with the steam rising off Antrim Lake.

Back on (the) Track

Today was a bit of a rough day. All day long it just felt like I couldn't do anything right. By mid-afternoon I was toast. I came home from work and crawled in bed. Less than an hour later Dave came home and that meant one thing, it was time for my first track workout in two years. I am currently signed up for the Houston Marathon, soon to be half marathon, and it's only 9ish weeks away. Back in May I ran a 1:44ish at the Capital City Half Marathon and I wanted to at least be able to duplicate that effort. So I picked up Dave's "Run Less, Run Faster" book and found a plan for a 1:45 half marathon. The first workout:

warmup
2 X (6 X 400) at 1:39
1:30 between each 400
2:30 between sets
cool down

Yes you read that right...TWELVE FREAKIN' FOUR HUNDREDS!!!

Needless to say, this workout scared me. Being that (a) I had a rough day and (b) this workout felt out of reach, I had a total meltdown on the track just a half mile into the warm up. I cried and cried and cried. And then I got my shit together. I love to run. I could totally do this.

And I did. I freakin' nailed those 400s...

1. 1:38
2. 1:35
3. 1:35
4. 1:34
5. 1:35
6. 1:35
7. 1:36
8. 1:36
9. 1:37
10. 1:36
11. 1:37
12. 1:37

Twelve 400s all under a 6:40 pace. I am so excited about this workout. I am so proud of myself for getting it done and not giving up. It's baby steps, but I'm starting to feel like the old Meredith is back.

Foto Friday

If you haven't noticed, I am a proud owner of a nice iPhone 4s. I have been enjoying being able to shoot HD video and have a great camera always at the ready. And my favorite app is Instagram.

This picture we took on the way back from the race last weekend. This is from the first snowfall as we were driving through West Virginia.

Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto

Yeah, we had a lot of time in the car last week...

Versatile Blogger

Melissa at Double Jogger Diaries tagged me for the Versatile Blogger Award. I am supposed to say 7 random things about myself and then tag other people. It's really hard for me to come up with 7 things as I've been blogging now for six years and I think this blog is an open book, but here we go...

1. I have never had a manicure (although I got fake nails put on for my wedding - I looked like a tool), pedicure, or message. I am kind of repulsed by the thought of others touching me.

2. I miss my long hair insanely. But then I see a picture of Michelle Williams or Stephanie Gosk (NBC reporter) and I think, "yeah, I kind of like my short hair."

3. I'm not going to lie, I pretty much dread every workout. It's a real struggle to get out the door most days. Honestly, I don't love to run, bike (especially biking), swim, or weight lift. I like them enough to take the first step. But I know I will always feel better after a workout.

4. In all my years of running, I've only had one small blister (first marathon) and never had any black toenails or lost a toenail. I have, however, had three broken bones (foot, shin, finger) from running.

5. I studied engineering because, well how should I put this delicately, I dated guys who I thought weren't exactly going to be able to support a family. (This was before Dave.) I thought I was going to have to be the breadwinner (turns out, I was wrong about those guys). I always thought I would get married later in life and would establish myself as a career woman. But, instead, I got married straight out of college and married a wonderfully smart guy who can support me and a future family if we decide to have one. If I were to go back and select a college major all over again, though, I would still choose engineering. I thoroughly enjoyed the challenge of it.

6. I have never slept in the buff. I have never sat around or walked around the house naked. Shoot, if I could shower with clothes on I would. I can't stand to not be clothed.

7. The most beautiful beach I've ever been to in the world was Orange Beach, Alabama. And I've been to beaches in Hawaii, Bahamas, and Mexico. Surprising, huh?

Okay, I'm supposed to tag bloggers and whatnot. But, I'm not going to. If you want to play along, please feel free and do so. And tomorrow, one of the most awesome videos ever.

October Totals

October was a mixed bag. By now you know I was secretly still training, but I also was dealt a hand of illness and injuries leading into my non-race. Up until this month I was really good at writing down all my workouts and keeping track of hours and miles, etc. But going back to work full time and having 8 or 9 photo booth events this month kinda put the squash on that. Here's what I think is correct:

Swim - 10,500 meters ~ 6.5 miles

Bike - 200.99 miles - Seriously, 0.1 miles short of 201?

Run - 50.76 miles - Considering what bad shape I was in with my back, I'm a little surprised at this number.

I haven't got a clue what I'm going to do in November. Run? Swim? Sit on the couch? Although, I am less than 100 miles short of 3000 miles on my bike this year. I might have to find a way to do that. The season is officially over and what's next is anyone's guess.

Not a Total Failure

It's hard not to think about the last two years and not think "total failure". At least that's what I thought after Ironman Louisville last year. This year I'm a little more grateful for what I've achieved instead of what I've failed. In the last two years I've:

• PRed in the 70.3 distance with each race I've done. My first 70.3 was in 2005 and I did a 6:10. Then in 2008 I did it again and finished with a 6:09. Last year I did IM Kansas 70.3 and finished with a 5:46 - a HUGE PR! This year I only was able to take a few seconds of that PR, hanging out now with a 5:46:05. I have come to really like the 70.3 distance and think I can do even better.


• I have continued to improve my time in the Olympic distance and even walked away with a top-10 age group finish at Rev3 Knoxville this year. To me, that's big.


• I placed in my age group in every "local/small" race. Despite not printing that, it was goal of mine for 2011.


• I won my first triathlon this year!!!


• I rocked a half marathon (Capital City Half) without any specific training.

It's also easy to forget that there was life before Ironman. I have had great success at running and am looking forward to getting my running back on track. Sure, I really want to become an ironman, but I have to remember that I've run Boston four times too. I may never become an ironman, but there are a lot of people who will never run Boston no matter how badly they want to. My athletic career is not going to be defined by this "failure." And someday, ironman will be a success along with many more other successes to come.

My Confession

Confession - Yesterday I was signed up to participate in the Beach2Battleship full ironman. I made the decision to sign up for this race shortly after Cedar Point. B2B was technically sold out, but had opened 25 more charity slots. For days I wrestled with making this decision but when the slots were down to 4, I jumped and signed up. I felt right away that I had made a horrible mistake. I had spent an ungodly amount of money to participate in yet another ironman and I was stuck. I figured, though, I had seven weeks to get back in the game. But as you know, those seven weeks were disastrous with going back to work, hurting my back, having bad saddle sores, catching a cold, and finally falling and busting up my knee.

Nonetheless, Wednesday we packed up the car and began our trip to Wilmington, North Carolina. Earlier in that day I began to feel the internal tension and nerves that ironman continues to serve up. By dinner time I was full-on nauseous and barely kept that dinner down. Thursday was no different as breakfast was a little bit of cereal, lunch was a little bit of sandwich and then I did something truly embarrassing - I cried when I picked up my race packet. We checked into our hotel and I was going south fast. I began to panic and kept telling Dave over and over again "I just wanted to go home." Thankfully, our hotel had a "happy hour" and just one glass of wine later I was feeling fine. But, I still couldn't eat dinner and I was a blubbering mess by the time I crawled into bed. Friday I had a full-blown panic attack - sweating, sobbing, heart racing, full-on nausea. All of this over a stupid race. A stupid race I have at least tried before. I never unpacked my bag and told Dave I was ready to go home. He checked us out of the hotel, then checked us back in. We went over to the Convention Center where I turned my chip in and then got it right back. Seriously, I could not have been more of a mess. I sobbed uncontrollably as I called my coach. She talked me down and I agreed I would give it a try. That lasted all of 30 minutes. We turned in our keys at the hotel and we were off. For the next two hours, Dave tried to convince me to turn around and at least give it a try, but there was no listening or reasoning with me. We drove half way home on Friday, and made it home yesterday.

What the hell?!?!

To say I'm embarrassed is an understatement. Which is also to say that I'm mad, angry, upset, and sad. I so badly want to be an ironman. I so badly want to put all this behind me. But, I'm just not ready. What I haven't really spoken about and have completely internalized is Louisville. Louisville did some serious damage to me mentally and I just haven't recovered. Unless you were inside my mind and body on that day, you have no idea what I saw or experienced. Honest to goodness, I think I am suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. That race feels like it ruined me. Every time I read a race report from an ironman all I fixate on is how sick they were - everyone feels crappy during that race - and I can't get past how awful I felt and then being shipped away in an ambulance in Louisville. I CANNOT move past that. Physically, I know I am ready for the ironman, but for some reason my head cannot make that leap with me. Truly, I was ready for Cedar Point, but given that it ended poorly, I just wasn't ready to move on so quickly to Beach2Battleship.

So what's next? I don't know. Maybe that's a good thing. Ironman will always be there and someday, someday I will do it. It just won't be any time soon. What I need before then is to live life, have fun, gain more experience, and learn to love racing again.

Tomorrow I will hang up my bike and I don't plan on getting on it for a long time. I plan on doing some yoga, pilates, weight lifting, and a lot of running with friends. I am currently signed up for the Houston Marathon, but in all honestly, I'm going to switch to the half marathon. I need to find myself again. The person I was when I rocked the Boston Marathon in 2009 is not the person I am now. Heck, if you told me to go out and run Boston tomorrow, I probably couldn't do it for fear I wouldn't be able to do it. In the future I will be that beast again. Today I am Meredith. And that's all I need to be.

I Fought the Asphalt and the Asphalt Won

I played tennis in high school. One summer I went to tennis camp at a local university and just one or two days into the camp, I rolled my ankle so badly that the doctors weren't sure if it was broken or not. I was so swollen they couldn't read the x-ray. The doctor concluded it was not broken. I will now, gracefully, disagree as it clicks and pops every time I walk or move it and it has been weak and a sign of trouble for my running ever since then.

******

Friday was supposed to be a swim day. I had packed all my gear and brought it to work with me. But on my way to work, while thinking about the swim, I thought, "Hmmm, I don't think I packed a swimsuit." And sure enough, I didn't. Thank goodness I discovered that before going all the way to the pool and beginning to change my clothes. So, I decided to switch gears and run after work. I invited Dave to ride his bike with me and he agreed.

I've been going to physical therapy for my back and it's feel TONS better, but despite all that, my running still feels a little off. I just don't have very much strength on my right side and it feels like I'm kind of dragging that foot a little. The run was going well, though, if not a little slower than I liked.



(Don't I look fat and slow?! And that abrupt change in scenery in the video....yeah, that's Dave getting his jeans caught in his chain.)

With just over a mile until we got home and the run was over, my right ankle rolled, and down I went. Fast and hard! I rolled over and sat in the grass for a minute. My ankle was throbbing but okay. My knee and hand however, were a mess. My hand was killing me and my left knee was oozing blood all over the place. I got up, dusted myself off, and started to cry. Not because I was seriously hurt, but because it just seems like things went from great to horrible in zero time flat. I was riding high leading into Cedar Point and then everything went wrong. In the several weeks since the race I've had food poisoning (during the race), hurt my back, got really bad saddle sores, caught my first cold in 18 months, and then this. I feel like the universe is trying to tell me to hang up my bike and move on.

Back to reality, as soon as I got myself back up and began my sob story, Dave got a phone call from friends we were hoping to make plans with. So here I am bleeding and limping my way down the sidewalk, while Dave is on his cell phone. A car stops and the man says, "I saw you fall, are you okay?" How embarrassing!!! I'm sure he was worried Dave was calling 911 and I had was a deep cut on my knee.



By this time it was past dusk and getting quite dark. I was wearing all black and my sidewalk was about to run out. I still had one mile home and only the road to do it on. Dave too didn't have any lights on his bike. I decided it was time to finish the run instead of walk home, so I cut through a park I was sure was going to be darkdarkdark and muddymuddymuddy. To my surprise, part of the park had been paved between our neighborhood and the road so there was no mud and now I never have to run the roads again!

Two days later, I'm still a mess. I can't get to the pool to do any swimming because I really did a doozy on my knee. I took off so many layers of skin that it has yet to scab and is still oozing yuck. My hand is painful and bruised but manageable. At least among the last couple of times I've fallen (here and here), this one was quite mild.

It's Time To Grow Out My Hair (Again)

If you missed it, I cut all my hair off in July.

I went from this:


To this:



I've had days I've loved it and days I've hated it, but I've gotten a lot of compliments on it and it's soooo easy, so I decided to keep it. Until today....

...Friday I started to get a little tickle in my throat. Throughout the weekend it became a full-blown cold. Crap! I haven't had a cold since March 2010. It's now Wednesday and I'm still really sick. Surprisingly, my sinuses are pretty clear, but my throat on the other hand is a mess. I sound like a freakin' man and needless to say, I'm coughing up, um, gross stuff. On the way to dinner tonight, Dave and I decided to pick up some Mucinex. We took it to the counter and we were asked for our CVS card. We didn't have it so I gave the woman our phone number to look up the phone number. Then she asked me my age. What? I thought it was to verify the card number, so I pointed to Dave because the account is under his name.

Here's where things went a little crazy.

The woman said, no, I need yours. If he gives me his age I need to see his ID. Um, what? She said it was because we were buying Mucinex. This confused me even more because we didn't buy it at the pharmacy counter, just off the shelf. So she says again, I need your age or I need to see his ID. So I asked, why do you need to see his ID and not mine. She said it was because he looked under the age of 18.

WOW!!!

First of all, you've delighted my THIRTY FOUR year old husband, but you've really insulted his YOUNGER wife. She actually thought he was under 18. Dave and I both look young, but not 18 young. Maybe 25 young. Then, to dig her hole deeper, she then said, "you should take it as a compliment." And what should I take my non-compliment as?

Obviously, it's my soccer-mom hair. It's time to grow it back out. I want to be "18" again.

I Should Have Gone to Medical School

I made a promise to myself that if my back still hurt this past Monday that I was calling the doctor. When I called, however, because of the marathon this weekend, I couldn't get in until Thursday. Good grief! Of course, Tuesday I woke up and my back was feeling a lot better. And again on Wednesday. So Wednesday I did a small brick that included a half hour run. I barely got going and the back was really bothing me. I stopped and thought, this is stupid! But, I wanted to do the workout come hell or high water. So I started walking for a minute, jogging for a minute. I was only averaging 15 minute miles but I was getting it done. By the time I reached half way, I was starting to jog and pick up a little speed. I "ran" the remainder of the run. I spent the rest of the evening icing my back (as I have every day for two weeks).

Thursday was my doctor's appointment. To my surprise, he didn't remotely think it was a stress fracture. He didn't even take an x-ray. He immediately thought it was my SI joint. Yes! I had successfully self-diagnosed myself on the internet. He tried some manipulations like a chiropractor would. My back didn't even crack. He then did a little ART, which hurt like a mother-effer!!! He had me walk around and it was feeling okay. I was then scheduled for physical therapy later that afternoon.

The physical therapists took a look at things, did some measurements and concluded, my body is all twisted to the left. My back is all jacked up on the right side--I had knots in my back along the spin and in my butt. She did some exercises to try straighten things out and taught me a few stretches to do on my own. She then did ultrasound and more deep tissue massage on my butt and back. Ouch! For sure I was walking out of both appointments with bruises on my buns. I go back for two more PT appointments next week.

Today I feel really good. I'm excited to give running a try this weekend and very, very thankful it wasn't anything more serious.

Hey Jealousy

It's not secret, I'm competitive. But what others may not realize is that I'm not really that competitive with other people, I'm super competitive from myself. I expect nothing short of perfection from myself. Since switching to triathlon, perfection has been a hard pill to swallow. Not only can I not measure up with swimbikerun, I'm finding that training for ironman the last two years is really screwing with my running speed.

This past weekend I was glued to my computer watching the Ironman world championships. I had five people (friends/teammates) I knew doing the race. And they all kicked butt. They did exactly what was expected of them. How do they do that? How are they so consistent? How are they so fast? What are they doing that I'm not that makes them super-stars?

Then my former training partner, Andrea, ran the Denver Half Marathon yesterday. For years we (including a third girl) have been trying to get qualifying standards for the NYC Marathon. Being that those standards have changed to, honestly, completely unreasonable standards starting next year, this year is the last real shot to do that. Personally, I have no desire to run NY, but I would like to know that I could qualify. Well yesterday Andrea finally got her qualifying standard and it was BIG!!! The standard was a sub-1:37 half marathon. She had run a 1:36 earlier this year but unfortunately it was on a non-certified course. Yesterday she tore that course up running a 1:33. Her pace was almost as fast as my 5K pace. Seriously.

I have to admit, I'm soooo jealous of what everyone else is doing right now. I want to be fast. I want to be able to go to Kona (shit, I'd like to just finish the damn ironman). I want to be able to continue to bring my running times down. I want to be a super-star!

Falling Apart

**I know you all love a good TMI story, so here you go!**

When I returned from Cedar Point I was angry. I took that aggression out on my bike. Just two days after my failed race I took that bike out for a quick 30 mile jaunt, mashing as hard as I could. It was a great ride, except I made a critical mistake. I rode that ride in an old pair of bike shorts. I developed some nasty saddle sores. In the three weeks since that race those sores have come and gone, but this weekend they came back with a vengeance. While doing a little grooming, um, I noticed my saddle sores had grown into full-blow blisters. I tried to pop them, ew, with no success. Yesterday I rode a designed trainer ride that may have been the most painful thing I've ever done. I even stopped at one point to drain one of the blisters. Ew! This morning when I woke up the blisters were HUGE and I was in pain. I called the doctor and got in this afternoon.

Now, if you guys know me personally, you would know that this was a risky move. You see, my doctor is a good friend of mine. I have run with him for years. We are on a first name basis. So for me to show him my hoo-ha was a big deal. Luckily, the appointment was done with sensitivity and discretion and I may be able to look him in the eyes again. :) And the decision? Well, he did nothing. I thought he would drain them but he didn't. He recommended padding them with a band aid while riding, which I did yesterday, getting a new fit on my bike, and getting new shorts and chamois cream. Awesome. (Yes, that was meant to be sarcastic.)

So were these blisters really caused by one ride in one bad pair of shorts?

Here's the second half of my story.

I eluded in my last post that there have been some major changes in my life. A little over a month ago, while hanging out with friends, I mentioned to them that I was interested in getting a part time job once ironman was over. Immediately the wife popped up saying I should work for her husband, a good friend of mine, as he would be hiring part time seasonal employees starting in October. Perfect! Except, I was worried about being seasonal as there was no guarantee that I would be hired on at the end of the holiday season and be able to continue with the part time work. In the mean time, though, this same friend had a full time position open. I thought about it for a few days and figured, I could make that work. Before I had even finished filling out the online application, HR had contacted me asking for an interview. And the ball was rolling. I had a phone interview on a Wednesday, a face-to-face interview that next Tuesday, two weeks later I had an offer, and I started three days after that, which was last Monday. Life went from zero to 60 in no time flat.

Last Tuesday I started to notice some pain in my back/tailbone area. It was the same kind of pain I had after I fell down the stairs this past February. As the week went on the pain stayed and maybe even got a little worse. I have no idea why I was having this pain. Was it the three photo booth events we had over the weekend? Was it because I wasn't used to sitting all day in a hard chair? Did I do something while doing my last long run?

Now it's a week later and the pain is still very much there. I feel it with every step I take. I have been taking ibuprofen around the clock. I have iced it. I have put a heating pad on it. I have moved all my runs to the elliptical machine. I have taken a little (although not much) time off. Today I attempted a long run. I got in about 14 miles before I had had enough. The pain was intense and I couldn't take it anymore. Frustrating! I had planned on a much longer run than 14. My legs and lungs felt fine, but I couldn't handle the pain in my back anymore.

Is it a pinched nerve (I've struggled with this since my fall down the stairs)? Is it a pulled muscle (I did set the photo booths up by myself over the weekend--not the smartest idea)? Is it something worse, like a stress fracture in my tailbone/pelvis?

So this brings me back around to my blistered saddle sores. Is the pain in my back, although I don't notice it when I ride, causing me to change my position on the bike? Whatever the hell is going on, I feel like I'm falling apart. I feel like my body is telling me that enough is enough. I need a break.

September Totals

After my disappointing race at Rev3 Cedar Point, I decided to keep training. There's no race scheduled, but I just find comfort in the training. My next plan is the Houston Marathon and I'm not quite ready to start my specific training for that, but I wanted to keep my mileage high in preparation for that.

Sometime earlier this week I tweaked my back. I don't know how I did it or what exactly I did, but I'm working through it. Today I will be moving a run to the elliptical machine. But, the plan, is to keep on trucking on...

Swim - 18,500 meters (~11-1/2 miles)

Bike - 303.28 miles - I had a 100 miler I was planning on doing last week, but I got rained on twice, was cold and wet, and decided to call it a day. I got in 72 miles.

Run - 46.73 miles - I enjoyed a descending 18 miler last weekend that I did perfectly without EVER looking at my Garmin.

Training and life has changed drastically in the last week. More information on that soon...