Athlete of the Month

I totally forgot to write about this earlier this month.  My coach named me "Athlete of the Month" for her Multisport Mastery program.  She gave me this honor not because of some achievement I had received, but because I have been embracing the whole picture and working towards bigger dreams.  She sent me a series of questions to answer and ask me for some pictures and VOILA! 

Check it out here!  Thanks Liz for thinking of me, pushing me, and being the best coach I could hope for.

This is an interesting development

I got this in my email today:

I guess by just being on Team USA for the aquathlon this past year that it automatically qualifies me for the triathlon national championships.  Two years ago I qualified and trained for it only to get injured and never got to compete.  The Husband has done it and says I should do it someday.  But, I don't think it will be in 2017.  It's the day before we leave for vacation and I don't want to ship my bike all over the US getting to the race and to vacation.  And then there's that whole....I hate to ride my bike thing.

Medals, Medals EVERYWHERE!!!

In my hiatus from running I've decided to pursue cleaning up this house.  We moved here over a year ago and basically just dumped stuff everywhere.  We STILL have things in boxes!  If your stuff stays in a box for over a year you OBVIOUSLY do not need it.  So, I've taken the task for unloading the boxes, throwing away, and donating stuff.  I'm a minimalist living with a hoarder and well, I'm the one home all day so I win.

Last week I tackled all the running medals we have accumulated in the gazillion years we've been running.  I searched and searched all over the internet for some place I could donate the not-so-important ones but came up empty.  So I hatched a plan to display all of them in the workout room in the basement.  I found two pot racks we had purchased from Ikea nearly 15 years ago and NEVER opened or used and yet have moved them over and over again.  Our basement has been waterproofed so the walls are plastic and not drywall so I had to find a way to hang them.  I was able to hang them from the rafters just about our makeshift trophy case.  And after nearly 90 s-hooks later this is how it turned out:

The ones on the left of the picture are from 2001-2009.  The ones on the right are from 2010 to 2014.  Either we're running more races or they give out medals for EVERYTHING!!!  How the heck am I going to fit another five years on that rack?

That giant trophy?  That's for winning a 5K years ago.  That's a BIG trophy for a tiny 5K.

Do you display your awards/medals?  Do you toss them in a box and forget about them?  Do you donate them or toss them?  Do you think they give medals for WAY too many races?

New Kit

I still haven't signed up for Nationals yet but in case I do decide to do triathlon this summer, I went ahead and got my coach's team kit.  I didn't take a selfie but here's what it looks like laid out on my floor.

Having Second Thoughts

I have enjoyed the multisport training I have done this winter.  Swimming and biking has been good addition.  It's helped me get stronger and faster without piling on the miles and risking injury.  In fact, I haven't had a single week of training for this marathon where I've reached 40 miles in a week.  Yet, I'm running faster than I have in a good six years.  Of course, as soon as this marathon is over the focus will actually be triathlon.

I have a confession, though.

I have only signed up for one triathlon.  And it wasn't Nationals.  And, I'm having some second thoughts regarding actually doing triathlon.  I'm not very confident when it comes to triathlon.  I'm not very good.  That frustrates me.  I easily talk myself out of doing well and that's just dumb.  And to be honest, I'm doing really well at running right now, why would I want to switch over to triathlon?

I'm just being ridiculous, right?  Why would you turn down your chance to race at Nationals?  I just need to pull on my big girl panties and suck it up.  Sign up for those races already, Mer!!!

My Super Cool Christmas Present

A few days before Christmas Dave said to me, "do we have any spray adhesive?"  What?!  And then a little while later, "do you know where you quilting cutter-thingy is?"  "Do you know where your fabric mat is?" 

What the heck are you doing??

I started to wonder if Dave had gotten one of our family pictures blown up for a gift and was doing something with it.  What that something was, I had no idea.

The last present I opened for Christmas was the big one; the gift Dave had been crafting.  It was a giant map of the United States.

What the heck??

Then he explained it to me.  It was a map glued to a push pin board so that we could mark where we've raced.  Yes, we have a goal to race in all 50 states.

So we started to mark it up.  We used big-balled pins to mark our major races - red for my marathons, blue for Dave's marathons and ironmans, and white for major races we have both done.  The smaller-balled pins are for more minor races like 5ks, half marathons, and triathlons.  The picture doesn't make the pins very prevalent but it looks so much better in real life.  I plan to hang it up in our entry way, with hopefully a homemade "Oh, the Places You'll Go and Race" sign so it's a great conversation piece for our guests.

In 2015 I will be picking up Wisconsin and hopefully Oklahoma.  Maybe we can even find a race in Florida.  I can't believe we don't have Florida.  We go every.single.year!

How many states have you raced in?  Do you want to race in all of them?  Do you plan on becoming a 50 state marathoner?

New Toy!

When I found out I qualified for USAT Age Group Nationals, I had a serious conversation with my coach.  We discussed my thoughts on all the running goals I had and if I would still be able to go after those.  For real, my running is my love.  Triathlon is just a sometimes hobby.  And then we discussed my suckage (it's a word) at biking.  I suck at biking.  SUCK!!!  And I don't want to suck.  I would love to be able to hold my own and then catch those chicks on the run.  I shouldn't suck as bad as I do.  Coach has been gently nudging me for years to get a powermeter so we can get down to the bottom of my biking suckage.  A few years ago I saved enough money to get one and then spent the money on new carpet.  Priorities.  But this year I decided to get serious about this.  I'm not going to go into Nationals and hope to not finish last.  So on Cyber Monday I found a good deal and purchased a new powermeter.  Yesterday it finally arrived.

 

After searching for tools for nearly a half hour, I was able to get the chainrings off my bike and onto the powermeter. 

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to remove my crank as don't have the tools to do that, plus I wouldn't be able to install the new bottom bracket as I don't have the tools for that either.  Now I have to figure out how to get the baby and my bike into the local bike shop today...

Isn't This Interesting?

Thanksgiving morning I woke up to this email:

  

You have got to be kidding me?  I did ONE triathlon in 2014, which shouldn't even be eligible as a qualifying race, and I qualified for the national championships???   Well crap!  This puts an interesting twist in my 2015 plans.  I mean, how can I NOT do the freakin' NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIPS!?!?!

But, let's be real, I suck at biking.  And for me to get acceptable enough to even make a decent showing at a national race, I am going to spend every day between now and the race on my bike.  And even then, I'm still gonna suck at biking.  This causes concern for me because I still have big running goals for 2015.  Honestly, I moped around the house for a few days conflicted about all of this.  I really want my running goals, but how can you not do the national championships?  Finally, I sent an email to coach who straightened me out and let me know we can do both.  So, for now, the age group championships is on the schedule.  Guess you'll be seeing me on my bike a lot this year.

Challenge New Albany Award

Look what finally came in the mail!!!

I finally got my award for finishing 2nd at the Challenge New Albany women's sprint tri.  It's a big belt buckle!!!  I always thought I would have to run a 100 miler to get a belt buckle (and the thought certainly has crossed my mind).  Now I just have to get a belt to wear it with.

Have you or would you ever wear a belt buckle you won from a race?  Are there any items from a race you wear consistently? (I wear my necklace from Nike Women's Marathon quite often.)

USAT Age Group National Championships

Dave participated in the USAT Olympic age group national championships today.  What an amazing event!  The competition and talent level was unreal.  The finishing times were crazy fast for what I have seen/heard at local races.  Dave's race is his story to tell, but I was the one snapping pictures, so that's how I'll tell the story.

 

Dave was in the very first wave, which was great because he was done early and made it pretty easy for spectating.

I missed all of Dave's bike as I was looking for Amanda and because this was going on:

 

I did catch Dave at the start and the finish of the run, however.  He looked great and he was running strong.

 

Congratulations Dave!

 

This event was super cool and kinda makes me want to try to qualify...

Challenge New Albany Women's Sprint Tri 2014

They say that an Ironman is 2.4 miles of swimming, 112 miles of biking, 26.2 miles of running, and bragging rights for the rest of your life.  For the rest of us non-Ironman triathletes, I believe we have to finish an triathlon annually to keep our triathlon street cred.  So, I did my one triathlon this summer - the Challenge New Albany women's sprint. 

This race was short and I mean SHORT!  200 yard pool swim, 7 mile bike, and 2 mile run.  And it was fast.  And I love fast!

The swim was a little bit of a cluster.  There were about 130 women in the race and the director left it up to us to seed ourselves in the swim.  I don't know if I'm a fast swimmer or not, but I didn't want to get caught up in a mess of non-swimmers so I seeded myself close to the front.  I jumped in the water and halfway through the first lap I realized I did not start my watch.  Rookie.  I finally started my watch at the first wall.

I swam pretty well and passed two people and only got passed by one.  It got a little congested at the walls, but I'll take a pool swim any day to open water.  I wish all triathlons were in a pool.  Seriously, is there an ironman out there that's done in a pool?

It would have been totally awesome if the swim started with a trip down the slide.

  

Swim time: 4:41, which included a pretty sizeable run into transition.

In transition I realized I did not press the lap button on my Garmin.  Seriously, have I never done a triathlon before?  Helmet, socks, shoes and we're off!

T1: 0:57

Right away I got passed by a girl on a mountain bike.  

I couldn't figure out the Garmin to see what my pace was but I thought "how badly am I at biking that a chick on a mountain bike is ahead of me?"  But she didn't suck.  In fact, she stayed ahead of me for nearly 5 miles before I caught her.  I was so impressed with race organization during the bike portion of this race.  The roads were well marked, lanes of traffic were closed off just for this race, and there were volunteers and cops everywhere.  And the support on the course was amazing.  I think there should be all women's races for all races.  The ladies in the race were cheering on each other and high fiving.  Isn't that really how it should be?

Bike time: 23:58

Seriously, I was one of like 10 people riding a time trial bike and had the 21st fastest time.  I suck at biking (of course, I have done pretty much ZERO training for triathlon).

T2: 0:42

The girl who rocked it out of transition one on her mountain bike beat me out of T2 as she already had running shoes on.  I ran out like a bat out of hell.  The run was only two miles.  I could freakin' sprint two miles.  

 

I love running.  I just love running.  It was awesome to be out there flying, catching people, finishing the race.  I pushed and pushed all the way into the finishing chute, almost getting the woman in front of me (we were the second and third finishers).

 

 

Run time: 14:32

Overall: 44:50 2nd overall

I had a lot of fun.  This race was well organized and the whole weekend was well put together.  I am so excited this race was brought to my hometown and I look forward to watching this race grow in future years.  Great job HFP and Challenge Family.  I'll definitely be back.

Challenge New Albany: It's Kinda a Big Deal

This weekend the Challenge Family brings their triathlon magic to my hometown with Challenge New Albany.  It's a whole weekend of triathlon with men and women's sprints, kids and junior races, and Olympic and half distances (and if the race ever becomes a full iron distance I may have to change my stance on "never doing it again").  The race is bringing in pros and amateurs from all over the country and from a few countries.  Dave and I are both participating (I'm doing the sprint and Dave is doing the Olympic) and I couldn't be more exciting.

There are lots of people coming into town who I'm excited to meet, cheer on, stalk, whatever.  First is my BFF Meredith Kessler.  She's probably going to win the whole thing and it's going to be totally cool to see her race in person.  Amateur stud Amanda is going to be here too!  We've been talking via email for a weeks now and it's totally going to be awesome to finally meet her.  She's gonna rock out this race too!  My former Trakkers/Rev3 teammate Janet will also be competing.  I met up with her this past April at a half marathon.  She's in her second year as a pro and getting more awesome all the time.  Current Rev3 chick Maggs will also be here.  I've never met her but I'm friends with her on Facebook and hopefully will get to meet her and will definitely cheer loudly for her.  Finally, although not racing, I think Colleen will be around this weekend.  I've yet to meet her little kiddo and would really love to catch up with her.

If you're coming to town this weekend for this race, let me know.  I live right behind the host hotel and would definitely love to meet you.  If you have questions about the race course, specifically the run course, I know it very, very intimately (like, I run it almost every day).  I hope to see you this weekend and good luck!!!!

Are We Too Comfortable with Being Comfortable?

I created a little bit of a firestorm with a Facebook post yesterday, but since I have a little bit more room in my blog to explain everything, that's what I'm going to do.  Warning, this may be a little out of order but bear with me and maybe you'll see the point in all of it.

When I did my first triathlon, I chose a bigger one here in town that was supposed to be beginner friendly.  When I got there, I was surprised to see people in what seemed like sponsored kits (seriously, why do triathletes dress like NASCAR racers) and I even saw a dude warming up on his bike while it was on a trainer.  Shoot, I didn't even know what that was at the time!  Needless to say, I was completely intimidated and completely turned off by triathlon.  And even though I continued to do triathlon on and off for the next several years, I never wanted to consider myself one of "them."

Flash forward to yesterday.  Dave was running the Last Chance for Boston 10K.  This is a one mile loop course where you can run a 5K, 10K, 1/2 marathon, full marathon or relays.  I resisted the urge to sign up for the 5K and just went and supported Dave.  I didn't even realize I was wearing it, but "Mr. Triathlete" came up to me and asked me about Ironman Louisville as I was wearing my sweatshirt.  Now, I wasn't wearing the shirt to show off as many people do at races; I was simply wearing it because I have very few things that still fit me and that includes most of my maternity clothes.  Anyway, I call him "Mr. Triathlete" because, well, there is a triathlete stereotype and he fit the mold.  Not only was he decked out in all his gear, he talked to me at length about this ironman he's done and that ironman that he DNFed and the ironmans he wants to do.  He talked about his biking (they always do) and how he rides with power and he's learned how to use his body weight to his advantage on hills.  Mind you, I did not solicit any of this information.  This dude talked a big game, so when I saw him out on the course I was not surprised whatsoever to see he, kinda, sucked.

Where am I going with this?  Keep holding on....

The firestorm I started yesterday on Facebook happened when I posted that 80% of the participants I saw in this race were wearing Garmins.  As I mentioned before, this course was a one mile loop.  I said, "It's time to put away the Garmins. Learn to run hard, learn to pace, learn to RACE!!! If you can't pace for a one mile loop, you probably shouldn't have a Garmin in the first place."  Well, as you can imagine, I obviously had some people who disagreed with me regarding this.  Their responses were regarding keeping track of the laps (my argument was how hard was it to hit the lap button of your watch and they are NEVER accurate to the race course mileage) and to be able to review their race data after the fact (again, you can review lap splits from a regular watch).  

My point in all of this is, we have forgotten how to race.  And I mean RACE!!!

Look, I own a Garmin.  Heck, this household owns two Garmins.  And we use them, a lot.  I think it's a great training tool, but that's where I draw the line.  Use the Garmin in practice to (a) keep track of your miles if that's important to you and (b) learn how to pace; learn to feel what a certain pace feels like.  But when you get to a race, RACE!  If you're doing a 5K or 10K, shouldn't you be going balls to the wall, anyway?  If you're going further shouldn't you be trained enough to know how to pace, to a certain extent?  For example, and this is the example Dave and I argued together yesterday, if you are well trained for a race and your goal pace is an 8:00/mile and your Garmin says you're running a 7:45, you're likely to slow down.  But if you're trained for this race, maybe a 7:45 is doable.  I mean, it's only a few seconds different.  If you can run an 8:00, you can run a 7:45.  Now Dave argued that if you're running a 6:45 and you're supposed to be running an 8:00 that you're going to fast.  True, but then you haven't figured out how to pace using the Garmin during training anyway.  

How does this relate back to the triathlete?  I mentioned that he talked about all the ironmans he has done.  When talking to a runner the question usually starts with, "well have you done a marathon?"  It seems our community (running/triathlon) is obsessed with going long.  And I'm every bit part of the problem having done several marathons and at least trying the ironman.  But by going long we're learning it's okay to be comfortable while swimming/biking/running.  We have lost the urge to race and compete and would rather just participate.  We've become obsessed with numbers and paces and watts and whatnot and have forgotten what it's like to just lace up our sneakers and head out the door for a run. 

Racing vs. Participating

Boy, this blog is schizophrenic isn't it?  Running...baby....baby...running.

Whatever.

Elizabeth and Jennifer have been doing a monthlyish podcast that I've recently started listening to.  Their most recent podcast was a Q&A from questions that people had sent in beforehand.  (I sent in a question, but mine was not answered.  :(  I'm hoping maybe they'll answer it in their part 2 of Q&A.)  I don't remember the exact question but they addressed the question regarding racing vs. participating - a very interesting question for two coaches who coach a lot of people who are wanting to do an ironman or run a marathon.  It begs the question, is it more comfortable to go longer than to actually "race"?

And a very interesting question that has followed me for most of my running career.

My friend Andrea and I used to have some serious spoken and unspoken disagreements regarding racing.  Although we trained together, our racing schedule was very different.  I would do two marathons a year, while she would do more than that.  I would actual train for races, while her intent was just to run the races.  The frustrating thing for me is that she kept getting faster and my times seemed to stay steady.  A couple years ago she moved to Colorado and changed her running habits.  I changed over to triathlon.  She has now begun to RACE and has gotten incredibly fast.  So fast, I can't even be jealous anymore because I'm not even in the same time zone as her race times.  I have had some success in racing again, but obviously took a step back since getting pregnant.  She has struggled with injury and mental blocks recently, so I suggested to her that maybe she should just "participate" for a while.  I can't believe I actually said that.  (Of course, she went out and busted a 1:29 PR in a half marathon so it's a good thing she didn't listen to me.)

Myself, having gotten pregnant in the middle of my racing season last year, I was forced to participate.  And you know what?  I kinda enjoyed it.  There were no expectations, there was no training, there was no nervousness, the people in the back of the pack were nicer, etc.  I never finished DFL but came in with most "average" runners.

With only a few weeks left of my pregnancy, I've thought a lot about what will life be like afterwards.  I have not signed up for any races.  I have not outlined a race schedule.  I don't even know if I will be able to or will want to continue to run.  But, I have thought a lot about short versus long races.  I do like to go long.  I enjoy getting lost in the monotony of mile after mile after mile.  Training for long distance races takes a toll on the body and for me, at least mentally, I struggle with putting all my eggs in one basket for a single race.  Personally, I've done the marathon.  I've done well in the marathon.  I really have nothing to prove in the marathon.  Would I like to go 3:20, 3:15, or better in the marathon?  Absolutely.  Does this define me as a runner?  I'm not sure.

And then there's the damn ironman.  Yes, I will continue to call it the damn ironman until I finish the damn thing.  I sometimes feel a little haunted having not finished the race.  Although as time has passed, I'm okay with not being an ironman.  However, I still want to finish the race.

As I tip over the edge of early 30s into my late 30s this spring, I think about how much time I actually have left to get faster.  Let's be honest, time is ticking.  I would love to do another marathon.  I would love to do the ironman.  Heck, I'd even like to try a 50K.  But, why would I do all that stuff now when I only have a limited time left to get faster at the shorter distances.  Is doing the marathon, ironman, ultras really all about participating?  Can one actually race those distances?

What are your thoughts on this topic?  Do you think being called a runner is dependent on finishing a marathon?  Or triathlete finishing an ironman?  Which distance of race do you prefer?  Are you comfortable with the uncomfortable?  What are your thoughts on speed and age and how to pick races?

Peer Pressure

The people I run with are sure good at peer pressure.  They and their peer pressure are the reasons I have signed up for many races, did my first half ironman, and every single one of the overnight relay races I've done.  Recently, they've been talking about doing another half ironman as a group this summer/fall.  They're talk quickly turned into action and many of them signed up including Dave.  Honestly, they've gotten into my head too.  There's a large part of me that wants to do it.  But then there's reality and it almost makes me a little sad.

I promised myself that I would not sign up for any post baby races while I was pregnant.  I have no idea how quickly I'll bounce back or if I'll even have time to train or want to train, so I'm not spending money that I may not get back.  And then there's the obvious stuff.  Like, why do I want to do another triathlon?  I don't even like triathlon.  I made so many strides in my running last year, why would I not want to continue to pursue my running further?  Plus, I haven't been on a bike on almost a year and a half.  And right now I not even sure I can physically get on my bike, which leaves me about 4 months to go from zero to racing on the bike.  Yeah, I don't know.  Finally, there's that whole, I'll have a baby, thing.  If I sign up for the same race as Dave then someone has to watch the kiddo.  My parents are already going to be watching the baby a lot in early summer because of our photo booth schedule.  While I appreciate it and I know that they don't mind and would love time with the baby, I promised myself when I got pregnant that I would be the parent and not someone else.

The good news is, I'm not falling into peer pressure.  I'm not signing up at this time.  I can entertain the thought all I want, but I can't and won't be making any decisions now.

Not a Total Failure

It's hard not to think about the last two years and not think "total failure". At least that's what I thought after Ironman Louisville last year. This year I'm a little more grateful for what I've achieved instead of what I've failed. In the last two years I've:

• PRed in the 70.3 distance with each race I've done. My first 70.3 was in 2005 and I did a 6:10. Then in 2008 I did it again and finished with a 6:09. Last year I did IM Kansas 70.3 and finished with a 5:46 - a HUGE PR! This year I only was able to take a few seconds of that PR, hanging out now with a 5:46:05. I have come to really like the 70.3 distance and think I can do even better.


• I have continued to improve my time in the Olympic distance and even walked away with a top-10 age group finish at Rev3 Knoxville this year. To me, that's big.


• I placed in my age group in every "local/small" race. Despite not printing that, it was goal of mine for 2011.


• I won my first triathlon this year!!!


• I rocked a half marathon (Capital City Half) without any specific training.

It's also easy to forget that there was life before Ironman. I have had great success at running and am looking forward to getting my running back on track. Sure, I really want to become an ironman, but I have to remember that I've run Boston four times too. I may never become an ironman, but there are a lot of people who will never run Boston no matter how badly they want to. My athletic career is not going to be defined by this "failure." And someday, ironman will be a success along with many more other successes to come.

Hey Jealousy

It's not secret, I'm competitive. But what others may not realize is that I'm not really that competitive with other people, I'm super competitive from myself. I expect nothing short of perfection from myself. Since switching to triathlon, perfection has been a hard pill to swallow. Not only can I not measure up with swimbikerun, I'm finding that training for ironman the last two years is really screwing with my running speed.

This past weekend I was glued to my computer watching the Ironman world championships. I had five people (friends/teammates) I knew doing the race. And they all kicked butt. They did exactly what was expected of them. How do they do that? How are they so consistent? How are they so fast? What are they doing that I'm not that makes them super-stars?

Then my former training partner, Andrea, ran the Denver Half Marathon yesterday. For years we (including a third girl) have been trying to get qualifying standards for the NYC Marathon. Being that those standards have changed to, honestly, completely unreasonable standards starting next year, this year is the last real shot to do that. Personally, I have no desire to run NY, but I would like to know that I could qualify. Well yesterday Andrea finally got her qualifying standard and it was BIG!!! The standard was a sub-1:37 half marathon. She had run a 1:36 earlier this year but unfortunately it was on a non-certified course. Yesterday she tore that course up running a 1:33. Her pace was almost as fast as my 5K pace. Seriously.

I have to admit, I'm soooo jealous of what everyone else is doing right now. I want to be fast. I want to be able to go to Kona (shit, I'd like to just finish the damn ironman). I want to be able to continue to bring my running times down. I want to be a super-star!

Pictures from Cedar Point

It took me a few days to process everything out. Truth of the matter is, I was sick. There's nothing I could do about being sick. Had I not been, I would have finished the day as an ironwoman. That's the risk you take when choosing to do epic endurance racing. You put all eggs in one basket and that basket has got to hold steady. Surprisingly, I'm okay with all this. There will be other races. For now, I'm just laying low and continuing to swimbikerun for fun.

I've finally downloaded all the pictures Dave took from Cedar Point. There's not all that many of them since the day stopped half way through the bike, but I thought I'd share what I had.

Mine's the midget bike.

REALLY not looking like I'm feeling good.

But, giving the double thumbs up that the first half of the swim has gone well and I'm okay.

Pointing to Rachelle, showing she was right beside me. This was funny as we had discussed we were doing the whole racing holding hands.

And this is what I looked like after midnight, completely drugged up and barely able to keep my eyes open having spent the whole day tossing my cookies. Good times!

Check Up

With only four days to go until THE BIG ONE!!! (OMG ONLY FOUR DAYS!!!) it's time to do a little check up. A mental and physical inventory, if you will.

Mentally, I'm feeling surprisingly great. Last year I was scared out of my mind. I couldn't sleep. I struggled to eat. The enormity of it scared the crap out of me. I would envision the finish and I would lose it. This year, things are different. I've had GREAT training - not only physical - but great mental training. I'll admit it, last year I would do bike rides with my iPod stuck in one ear. I was bored by the training. I just couldn't get my head wrapped around it. This year my mind is sharp. For very long stretches of my bike rides my mind would completely wipe. This happens to me when I run and it has served me well. In addition, I'm approaching the race differently. Last year I put a lot of pressure on myself to do well. I felt like I had something to prove. And although I think I'm going to do great this year, I don't care if this race takes me all damn day. I'm finishing it no matter what. I'm approaching the race as three separate parts and thinking of each of them as practice. Even breaking up each sport separately, I'm even going deeper than that. For the swim, I'm thinking only four strokes at a time. This is how I breathe when I swim. I will only concentrate on my form and four strokes. For the bike, honest to goodness, I'm breaking the ride up into 5 minute and 15 minute segments. This is when I take my nutrition. The bike will be just a big eating-fest to get to the next segment. I'm not going to think about how long I've been on the bike course or what my average pace is. It's all about heart rate and eating. The run is about 50 steps. Yep, "Just 50 Steps." I even wrote that on my sticker that will go on my Garmin. I can truly count to 50 over and over again for an entire marathon. And if it comes to that, that's what I'll do. Mentally I'm feeling really strong and relaxed leading into the weekend.

Physically, things seem to be falling into place. The minimal workouts have caused me to be a bit jittery. Like, I have too much energy. I DO have too much energy - I haven't been able to nap at all. But, I have been sleeping soundly. Last night I got over 8 hours of sleep. No nightmares either. I've closely monitored my weight during training. After losing 10 pounds between November and March, I haven't gained a single pound of it back. This week, although I'm feeling pudgy and bloated (and can tell my clothes are fitting a bit tighter), still no weight gain. My workouts have been spot on. Swimming is controlled, biking is relaxed, and running feels very natural.

So, what do I expect this weekend? Well, I've decided to take the timing expectations out of it. Sure, I'm sure I can swimbikerun X:XX:XX, but who cares. I want to be proud of how I approached the race. I want to have fun and smile and ENJOY the experience. I want to walk away from this entire two year ironman process and say yes, I did this. It doesn't matter if I go 11 hours or 16:59:59. In the end, I will still be an ironman.

See you there...

Time and Change

Saturday Dave and I made our way down to Louisville, went to bed early, and rose early on Sunday morning to spectate our friends and teammates participating in Ironman Louisville. Although unspoken, I could tell there was a little tension in the air between us and we were thinking the same thing....What if I went down there to spectate and it was a horrible experience and I wanted absolutely nothing to do with the ironman ever again?!

We got down to the swim start and the water works had started already. Yep, I was crying. Not because I was sad, but more because this was supposed to be my race. I felt cheated. I was jealous that it wasn't me out there. I wanted revenge. The tears dried up quickly and we began screaming our heads off. We saw a few of my teammates head out on the bike and then it was up to LaGrange to watch the bike portion of the day. We were three for four picking our friends out, and the fourth one threw us for a loop as she was not wearing what we expected her to wear. LaGrange was fun, but quick and then we were back down to Louisville to see the runners head out on the marathon. I was having a good time....

But then we got to the finish line area to watch the runners for the remainder of the day and that's when it happened. I could not stop crying. This is where everything went wrong last year. What I had wanted for so long didn't happen. But you know what? Spectating yesterday didn't break me. I walked away yesterday feeling rejuvenated and EXCITED to give this another try in a few days. It's my turn. I've waited long enough. I WILL do this....