Monday, August 29, 2011

Time and Change

Saturday Dave and I made our way down to Louisville, went to bed early, and rose early on Sunday morning to spectate our friends and teammates participating in Ironman Louisville. Although unspoken, I could tell there was a little tension in the air between us and we were thinking the same thing....What if I went down there to spectate and it was a horrible experience and I wanted absolutely nothing to do with the ironman ever again?!

We got down to the swim start and the water works had started already. Yep, I was crying. Not because I was sad, but more because this was supposed to be my race. I felt cheated. I was jealous that it wasn't me out there. I wanted revenge. The tears dried up quickly and we began screaming our heads off. We saw a few of my teammates head out on the bike and then it was up to LaGrange to watch the bike portion of the day. We were three for four picking our friends out, and the fourth one threw us for a loop as she was not wearing what we expected her to wear. LaGrange was fun, but quick and then we were back down to Louisville to see the runners head out on the marathon. I was having a good time....

But then we got to the finish line area to watch the runners for the remainder of the day and that's when it happened. I could not stop crying. This is where everything went wrong last year. What I had wanted for so long didn't happen. But you know what? Spectating yesterday didn't break me. I walked away yesterday feeling rejuvenated and EXCITED to give this another try in a few days. It's my turn. I've waited long enough. I WILL do this....

3 comments:

Melissa C said...

Meredith,
I am so sorry it was so emotional for you at the finish line. I tried to find you. For what it is worth, I started crying as soon as I saw my first person on the bike in Buckner. I was OK at the finish, but I didn't get to see Chad's dad finish in person, at 16:23. I know I would have lost it. You have done so much more work this time. You will do this!

Stef said...

The emotions sounds like a good thing -- releasing some of your feelings about how this went for you last year paves the way for you to crush it this year!!

Sounds like a smart move to go down there -- plus supporting your friends and teammates ROCKS!

Janet Edwards said...

Use those emotions to fuel ya for your upcoming redemption!!! See you soon!