The other day I went underwear shopping. Let me clarify what that actually means. That means I went to Meijer (like a Target but cheaper-for those who don't have one) and picked up a 6 pack of Hanes underwear. With my tiny hiney, the smallest size I can get is a 5, which translates to a small. I picked up bikinis which are cut to be tiny but not ride up the butt.
Got the picture yet.
Okay, so I picked up my 6 pack, checked out, went home, and opened the package. To my surprise, they looked a little bit like this:
So the next day I headed back to Meijer to try again. This time I perused the children's department while Dave kept the look out for Chris Hansen and Dateline's "To Catch a Predator." From the back off the box, I deduced that my size would be a children's 16: 27" inch waist, 108-117 pounds. I bought this paid, went out to the car, opened the box and got this:
Holy big underwear, Batman! What child can fit into those?
I packaged those bad boys back up and marched myself back into Meijer to try one last time. Dave was so embarrassed. This time I started opening those damn packets and holding them up to myself. Finally, I found ones that look like they fit. A freakin' size 12 in kids. Tiny buns! But I've got to tell you...I love them. They fit so well and no wedgies! I am going back today to buy some more as long as Chris Hensen doesn't have me arrested...