Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Life's Frustrations

It's probably because I'm a complainer or because I don't know how to be happy about anything, but life, in general, is really getting me down.

First is my job, but I don't want to be one of those people who is fired because they blogged about it so I'm not going to say anything here.

Secondly is my hair. (Go ahead and laugh.) I've been growing my hair for what seems like forever but I just don't think I am meant to have long ahir. It's really nice to have the ponytail for running and because I'm too lazy to fix my hair, but I can't wear my hair down and therein lies the frustration. My hair looks great right up to the ends of it and then it just has an attitude. And it doesn't matter if I trim it; it still looks bad on the ends. I would like to continue to try to grow it, but I'm really tired of wearing the ponytails day after day, but I would like to keep the ponytail for running. Maybe I'll just make an appointment to get it cut and then upon talking with the stylist will make a decision about what to do.

My last frustration is my weight. I've guess I've always had the thought that I run so I can eat, but recently I've been putting on the weight. Truly, every time I step on the scale I've gained another pound. Yesterday I maxed out at 117. Now I know that's not really all that bad, but I'm 5'1" and I exercise all the time. I should probably be under 110. I've never had to diet and I really don't want to. I know I need to eat better and smaller portions, but I'm so dang hungry all the time. My plan, right now, is smaller portion size, NO alcohol, NO chocoloate (I'm a candy baraholic), and eating better stuff.

These seem like really stupid frustrations, but they seem to encompass my entire life. Maybe at the age of 27 I should stop watching so much MTV. I'm not a teenager and I should stop wanting to look like a teenager. Sometimes I really feel like I'm going through this quarterlife crisis as I approach 30. Maybe I just need to do some yoga and stop complaining about the glorious life I have.

4 comments:

jessie_tri_mn said...

hi, new to your blog.

First off, great races! Thoroughly enjoyed reading your reports.

And I hear you on the little frustrations. They just add up... weight is annoying, but it seems you know what to do. I've found that eating more frequently throughout the day helps to calm the sugar cravings...

Michelle said...

Okay, I'm probably going to annoy you with this, but here are my 2 cents anyway: On the one hand, I have been known to be quite the complainer at times, too, especially over the small things, so I definitely know where you're coming from. It sounds like you have a plan for the things you can change, so that's good. (Brian always tells me not to complain about something unless I am going to do something about it.) On the other hand, you have a lot going for you: you're an intelligent, highly motivated, talented, athletic, beautiful women (even with 5 or 10 extra pounds that may come when your training slows down, as I'm sure Dave will agree), with a family and friends that love you, so you should embrace that!! (check out Psalm 139: 13-14 and Mattew 6:25). I don't always follow that advice myself, but I'm trying to. For example, I was really upset by the "lovely" stretch marks I got when I was pregnant, and even though they are fading, they are still there--BUT--I'm starting not to notice them any more, and I'm beginning to accept that they are just a part of me. I keep hearing people refer to them on their own bodies as "badges of honor", and I'm beginning to see them that way. I've also had the problem of "if only's"--if only I had this or that (job, family situation, house, etc.), I'd be happier. Well, I find that getting whatever it is that I wanted may be satisfying to some degree, but with it comes its own set of frustrations. Anyway, I'm not trying to sound like I've figured it all out--goodness knows that's far from the truth--just trying to pass on a little encouragment from someone who's "been there, done that". Hope that's what this has been for you . . .

Sarah said...

I'm 27, too...and I can sympathize. I've always had long hair and finally chopped it off about 2 months ago. It works great for running, but needs more frequent trimmings or it gets shaggy. And I fully believe in eating small meals/snacks every 3 hours; it helped me shave-off a lot of poundage :-)

Scott in Washington said...

Hey, I don't think you should feel like you shouldn't complain about what irritates you on a day-to-day basis - its your blog! Talk about whatever you what. If someone thinks what you write is boring, they can move along! I also don't think that maintaining a positive mental state and occasionally venting on the mundane stuff are mutually exclusive