I posted this photo on Facebook this week. After I made a remark about how I was looking more fat than pregnant, I got a comment saying something to the effect of...'You're growing a baby. You only have a few months of this joyous time. Enjoy it.' Yada yada yada, blah blah blah. Obviously, this is an acquaintance of mine and not a real friend and does not know me at all. I would never say such B.S.
Progression of my growing bump over the last six weeks.
I went to the doctor today and weighed in 10 pounds heavier than when I started all this. Really, this should be no big deal, but it freaks me out knowing I've got 22 weeks to go. I have been self conscious about my size, not necessarily my weight, for as long as I can remember. I'm only 5'1" so every pound counts and shows. I should be happy that I'm not bigger than I am at this point in my pregnancy, but I also don't think I'm looking very "pregnancy cute." Unlike others I know, I'm not growing from my ribs. Instead I'm growing from my pooch, something I'm super-self conscious of anyway. I suppose I'm not growing from my ribs because I've actually got core muscles and they're still holding everything in. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. :) But because it's just my pooch area, I thinking I'm just looking fat. I've not had anyone I don't know ask me when my due date is. I guess that's being polite, but it's certainly not making me feel any better about my size.
Gosh, I'm going to sound so insensitive here....to me, this pregnancy is a necessary evil to having a baby. I've always thought I would want a baby; I just didn't want to be pregnant. I'm missing my former life....clothes that fit, running, having energy, etc. I shouldn't complain. I'm having the easiest pregnancy. But I don't know what happens when all of this is over, body wise. I know I should be easily able to lose the weight. Or at least that's what people tell me. That's not as obvious to me. I like junk food. I live on junk food. I'm a lazy b! I'm not looking forward to counting calories again. I don't particularly like core work or lifting weights. I just want a magic ball to look into the future and see what's going to happen next summer.
I'm having a rough body image week. I know I may be just talking crazy, but I'm allowed to feel this way. I'm sure next week may be a different story.