Saturday, November 17, 2012

What's in a name?

Now that we're on the downside of the pregnancy mountain, we're starting to get the question we've been dreading....have we picked out a name?  This is something Dave and I talk about almost daily.  And, we're really getting nowhere with it.

A couple of years ago I had picked out some names and I had come up with one I really liked.  I assumed that Dave liked it too and so recently I've begun to call the baby by it's name.  Then one day Dave said he wasn't so sure about it.  I was devastated.  I really had my heart set on this name.  To be fair, he felt like he wasn't part of the decision process and I totally get that.  Yet, he has come up with ZERO suggestions and has said, he doesn't like any names.  Awesome.

There's so much pressure riding on this name.  I think names can create the type of person that you'll become.  It's important to pick the name that's right for the child that will someday be an adult.  Personally, I have narrowed the names down to two and they couldn't be more different.

One is 100% Greek, which is hilarious because neither of us is Greek and if you've seen pictures of us or know us personally, you would know that Dave and I are mostly likely producing a blonde-haired, blue-eyed baby.  A Greek name might seem a little weird.  This name, I think, is free spirited.  I can see the kiddo liking art and music, be a wild child in sports, but maybe not care so much about the future and the important things.  The name might create a fiery personality, which would almost guarantee the child to be a lot like me.  This could be bad to have another one of me in the household.

The other name, my first love for names, is the complete opposite of the other.  It's a very formal name, where I could see the child being a bookworm, loving school, and eventually becoming a CEO.  I absolutely love this name for it's formality.  There's the rub, though.  I have a very formal name and have always gone by my formal name.  Because I grew up with this formal name, I have formed my own opinion that children who are given formal names should be called by their formal names.  If you want a child to go by Billy, name the child Billy!  Dave, of course, thinks I'm being silly because, well, his name is actually David and he goes by Dave.  His parents are the ONLY people who still call him David.  To me, Dave is the grown up version of David.  And he CHOSE to go by Dave when he was in high school.  So if I named my child a formal name, I would want that child to go by a formal name until he/she can decide for him/herself if he/she wants to go by another name.  Where am I going with this?  The formal name I really like can easily be turned into an informal name.  This is where, I believe, Dave is stuck and is dragging his feet.

I personally want to pick a name quickly so we can begin calling the baby by its name and get not only the baby but our dog adapted to hearing it.  Dave, on the other hand, wants to wait until he sees the baby.  I guess I get that, but I don't want to be those people who wait until a whole week to name the baby and for a week just call it baby.  What's that about?  We still have five months to go.  And I'm sure, hundreds more names to talk about.


Murph said...

I loved your explanation of formal vs. informal names. I have a formal name (Michael) but have always gone by Mike, and I’ve always shortened peoples names, whether they want me to or not… one of my short fallings. When our first child was about to be born, I really wanted to give her a welsh name, since my great grandfather was born in Cardiff, my wife agreed since she has a really strong Celtic heritage as well. So we named her Bronwyn. She loves her name, but we have since shortened it to BB, partly because I shorten names naturally and because her younger brother and sisters have always had troubles saying her name when they were very young.
Another thing to consider… I never got to be just “Mike” in school, or even now at work (I was always Name plus surname Initial) because Michael is such a common name. So now I just go by my last name.

Spie said...

I am a split personality when it comes to formal names. My first son is named Fredrick, but has always been called Rick. I wanted to give him a formal/more professional name that he can choose to use as an adult.(Probably will not happen as he hates Fredrick and has said when he get to be an adult he will legally change his name) In addition his middle name is James...and Rick James just wouldn't do. :) On the flip side,my youngest son is named Robert. He went by Robbie as an infant/toddler, but as he grew I found I was using his formal name more often (i.e. "Robert Michael stop that right now!) and now we prefer and more importantly he prefers to call him Robert. Now, just to throw another wrench in the works, I rarely my children's given names when speaking to them. They all have nicknames, some related (Mr. Rick, and 'Berto) some derived from life (Swissers and Bees). We chose all four names based on mutual agreement, no negative feelings or celebrities with the name, and ease of use. We also made sure that it did not spell anything weird in initial form. Practice saying all given names in anger, frustration, and exhaustion..They need to flow off of the tongue. :)

TriMOEngr said...

We didn't know the sex either time (husband's request) and so we had to do a fair bit of discussion each time over two name choices. Early on the 1st time, we agreed on a first name for a girl (though my husband was adament about the "call them what you name them" idea too - "Beth" not "Elizabeth and call her Beth"). On a road trip to see friends in OK, we looked at a baby name book and each made a list of about 10 names we liked. On the way home, we took turns taking names off each other's lists until we narrowed it down and picked our son's first name giving him his dad's (and my dad's) first name as a middle name. Three years later, pg with my 2nd, we went through it again. But at literally the 11th hour, we had still not agreed on a boy's name and had gone a few rounds over our daughter's middle name, but finally settled on using his brother's name in the feminine (Daniel->Danielle) for the middle. Husband finally capitulated as I was approaching the time to push on the boy's name figuring we had a couple days to argue it out before the birth certificate had to be filled out. I like that both of our children's names are "old names" - nothing whacko. I like that they are relatively short and easy to yell out. I like that they fit both the "baby" version of my kids and the "grown up" version. And I think both of them like their names ok too. It is a tough decision and I hope you both can come to an agreement soon. That said, I think the mother should get final say. :)

Melissa C said...

we didn't know what we were having, so we obviously couldn't chose a name until we met the baby, since we weren't going for the Pat type names. I think there is something to be said for waiting until you see the baby, though. You want to make sure it fits. We lists of names, and debated only a little bit, and had our BC papers filled out quickly.